Wednesday, October 10, 2007 11:49 AM
ASTRODaija
Conflict: The Blessing & Silver Lining
Are you dealing with CONFLICT in your life?
Of course you are... We all are!!
Conflict is inevitable. It's a natural part of all
relationships, healthy or unhealthy. All relationships—with our
spouses, teenagers, colleagues, friends, extended family, siblings, church acquaintances,
and neighbors—will experience conflict because people differ so greatly
as individuals. And we need to value those differences! Because we're
different in personality, gender, opinions, concerns, and expectations,
it's only natural that we disagree.
Whether at work or at home, meaning in
your personal or professional life, think of CONFLICT as a way to Embrace your relationships in a new way.
Conflict isn't
fun—and it's rarely pretty, of course. But that's because so many
people rarely have good conflict resolution skills. OR perhaps any
conflict resolution skills at all. So it's no
wonder most of us dislike it and try to avoid it whenever possible. And
it's perfectly normal for us to want to avoid conflicts.
It's important that we become aware of the blessing of conflict and not be alarmed as we begin to experience disputes
and dissagreements. Rather than worry about when and if a conflict will
occur, instead determine now how you will handle any conflict when it
does come up. Conflict is actually a valuable crossroads—a point of
growth in all your relationships. This may be a major paradigm shift for
many people, especially if you've been in the habit of avoiding conflict
altogether. It's important for you to see conflict as an opportunity to deepen
your connection in your relationships, and not as a threat that will damage
them, whether personal or professional, all family members and especially with your children----Moms and Dads.
So your new goal is not to eliminate disagreements, but
to reach the other side together, with a closer bond between you and
that other person. When conflict arrises you do recognize that your relationship is changing, certainly; and you can
either use this time to grow together or grow apart---whether personally or professionally. The way you handle
the critical interactions and conflict will be a key tool in improving
your relationship. It is possible to have a stronger relationship if
you get a good handle on the conflict and learn to manage it rather
than letting it control you.
Conflicts, if handled in a healthy manner, have the
potential to draw you closer to one another. In fact, disagreements are
a necessary part of the process of drawing nearer to one another and
working thru things that perhaps you'd not be able to do any other way,
it's a bonding sort of ideal, that of course, we'd rather choose to run
from or not to explore.
The best
way to use conflicts is to agree ahead of time to always try to end up
after a disagreement with a win-win solution. In other words, argue
lovingly in a partnership type arrangement if it's a personal type
situation until you both understand each other and value each other's
different opinions. And in a friendship or work type situation, make
sure you do so with kindness and consideration, and always with tact
and diplomacy. Then spend a few minutes finding a solution that
you both like and can live with. This is the best way to grow and draw
closer in both personal and professional relationships, and especially
so in love relationships to others when in disputes.
I do promise you that it may not be the most fun thing that you will ever experience, but it will be the most helpful and prosperous relational skill that you will ever learn. And you'll personally, professionally, and relationally be better for having gone thru it all and learned so much!~