Men & Rubberbanding Is It Healthy? You Decide...
Many women today are asking theirselves; Why does most men do so much back and forth in a relationship before they decide to make a commitment?
To even begin in answering this question, we must 1st go back to, believe it or not, the bible.
Where love is concerned in the bible it states that a man should love his wife unconditionally, protect her, giving his life to her and her only. No where does it say that a woman should do the same. We would hope though it would be returned. A man should treat his wife as if she is as precious as gold. ( above is my interpretation ).
Back in the biblical days, men did the chasing. This mainly continued up til the time that womens rights stepped into the picture. Once womens rights was enacted upon women, became more and more agressive in their own pursuits of men.
So the men began to realize the old ways were starting to change. Men a long time ago used to know exactly what they wanted, made their commitments and pretty much stood beside those commitments no matter what. Thus why the divorce rate was so much lower in what we will call the olden days.
Well now, things have changed so much that they will vacilliate amongst theirselves on what it is that they really want to do. A now modern natural process for men to go through is called rubber banding spoken of in the book, "Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus".
A man will now go so far in a relationship then take a step back to see if it is what he really wants. Once he decides it is he will again step forward. This process can happen a few times to many times. Sometimes they rubber band for a few days some can take months to years.
There is a good side to this process and also a bad side to this rubber banding process.
Lets look at the good side 1st. The wonderful thing about a man rubber banding is this: A man who takes the time, and is given the opportunity for this reflection process, will be the man that will remain loyal to his marriage / commtiment and most likely to never on his own merits file for a divorce.
The bad side of the rubber banding process is that it drives us women crazy. To the point of causing us to feel insecure and act crazy doing and saying things that actually could possibly push the male pursuing us away even further.
Another bad side is that we as women of today, like having more control over our lives. We do not like to feel like we are out of control over our lives and our lives is suddenly out of our hands.
Now lets discuss the men who do not get the opportunity to rubber band before jumping into a commited relationship. ( This problem occurs mainly with men who have lost their biblical responsibilities that had been bred into men for centuries.)
A man who doesn't take the time to rubber band before entering into a commitment are the men who will cheat, seem selfish to their needs, will file for divorce, becaome abusive in some form, and can become very insecure within them selves.
So now we as women have to realize within our own evolution, we have to accept at least partial responsibility for men evolving into the now natural process of rubber banding.
We want men to listen and respect us which they should do. Yet we as well need to show men the same courtesies. So ladies please don't allow a man's rubber banding to make you feel insecure or act so crazy. Give them their space, allow them to chase. Let them make the 1st move in levels of commitment.
Now their is a resonable time for this. If the two of you have spent lots of time together and a man has'nt made a commitment within a years time. Then you have to decide for yourself are you willing to wait on him to catch up, or are you ready for what you want and break things off in order to find it with someone who is ready.
The choice is yours..
I hope this blog has given you food for thought. I do realize it may possibly stir up some controversy as well. This is my own experience with rubber banding and is written on my own opinion not anyone elses.
Love Christine