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Why do you need someone else for your closure?

GIVE THE POWER BACK TO YOURSELF!!  I have come across quite a few people over the past few years in which they need someone else for their closure.  For example, I remember one conversation with a friend of mine in which she stated, "Why can't he just pick up the phone and talk to me?  Why don't he just let me go?  Is he trying to hurt me intentionally?  Doesn't he know he's hurting me when he ignores me?  It's so hard for me to let him go because I feel something there but he's not acting on it."   

When my friend stated this to me, I explained to her about winning her power back.  This may be tough for some of you to hear, but that's ok, that's tough love.  Why do some people give their power to someone else?   Why do you need someone else to let you go?  If they are not treating you right or causing you stress, hurt and pain, then you need to release yourself from that person if they refuse to treat you with the respect that you deserve.   The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what we are picking up intuitively, or what a reading says, or what you think you feel, what matters is this, how is this person treating you in the present moment?  Can you handle the behavior and actions that this person is showing you?  If it is causing you pain and stress, then LET IT GO.  I have been in love before personally, and I know how hard it can be emotionally to let someone go.  But you have to know how to set your boundaries when you are not being respected.   It is difficult at first, but you will get used to it.  And on top of that, people will RESPECT YOU MORE over time.  Now, life can be challenging and there are always going to be obstacles along the way.  No one is perfect.  But the point of this blog is that you need to be RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.  Don't allow your happiness to depend on someone else.  If that person isn't treating you right and causing you pain, then you need to make yourself move on rather that person talks to you or not. 

You deserve the best.  You deserve respect.  FREE YOURSELF!!!  It doesn't matter what the other person is feeling.  If their behavior is causing you stress and pain, free yourself from it.  It doesn't matter if its a soul mate, twin flame or whatever word you want to call it.  If its meant to be, that person will come back around in the universe's own time and they will treat you right.  Maybe that person has to go through changes before they can be in your life.  Think about that. 

Now don't go overboard with what Im saying here.  There are times you and your partner will have disagreements or arguments.  That doesn't mean throw away the relationship over an argument.  What Im talking about specifically here, are those cases in which the other person's behavior is causing you ABOVE AVERAGE stress, so much hurt, so much pain.  Those cases in which you are doing 80 percent or more of the work and they are hardly doing any.  Those cases to where you feel you are the only one that is putting energy into the relationship, friendship, etc.  If you are going through this, you will know it.  So the last word of wisdom in this blog is, don't let your happiness depend on someone else.  Learn to give yourself your power back.  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Ó Copyright 2007 by Advisor Ryan

Published Monday, July 02, 2007 4:47 PM by AdvisorRyan

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# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Monday, July 02, 2007 9:46 PM by Netarsha
Nice Ryan,

Those were very powerful words and indeed spoken in truth, for you know my situation, and i know that's exactly what needs to happen, one should never allow themselves to fall that deep that you give all you power to the other person. We have to believe in ourselves.
Thank you for your guidance and prayers,

# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007 8:51 AM by Linda
Very compelling for me as this is exactly what I have been through. I cannot disconnect from this person when he has already disconnected from me.  I truly need to believe in myself and go on.

# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007 11:17 PM by Fluff-n-Stuff
What a tough blog!!!  It calls for all your strength as a person to stand up for yourself.  But the reward is worth it.  I've had to do this twice.  Both times, I wish I had done it sooner.  I've learned so much from each experience.  I sure hope I don't have to do it again, but if I do, I am prepared.

# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Sunday, July 08, 2007 3:04 PM by Queen Mariauset5
Gone, Advisor Ryan!
This is some much needed advice and people do need to stand up for themselves and take their life into their own hands. Stop allowing others to control your destiny!

# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 9:14 AM by Nicole
I am a wife on the receiving end of an ex-girlfriend needing closure from my husband. It is hard to deal with because I feel helpless in the whole situation which has lasted for 2 years. If I were a friend to his ex-girlfriend I would have showed this article to her a long time ago.

# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Thursday, August 16, 2007 10:35 PM by miss angelica
**don't let your happiness depend on someone else.  Learn to give yourself your power back**


those words are very powerful to me...i am no longer in a relationship that lasted two years...but its only been 2 weeks and still we mess around...i need to let him go..and it is sooo hard...i just happen to be thinking why why why do i need someone to love me..and i dont...i need self love...and i think for loooong time i was never taught that or told that..but now at 24 its hitting me..and maybe this relationship was something i needed to teach me that loving my self is the most important needed love that i need...thank u...

# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Monday, November 19, 2007 6:50 PM by Claire
Thank you so very much for reminding me to love myself enough that I don't need to be addicted to loving him who has hurt me. And also, I totally agree that this is his time to learn and grow emotionally, and perhaps we will meet again in the far-off future.

# re: Why do you need someone else for your closure?

Monday, December 13, 2010 7:52 PM by Rob
I agree with your article for the most part. I have so many questions about why my friend ended contact. I just wanted answers. Your article doesn't really address that.

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