Falling in love...
There is nothing more glorious than falling in love! What an extraordinary wonderul feeling it is--this aspect of falling in love! Regardless whether it is the first time or the 100th time, nothing can beat that initial "falling in love" feeling! After all the searching and dating around, you finally hook up with that one person you believe is the most likely to be "the one". The first few weeks or months you walk around humming or singing "I've got that loving feeling...oh oh that loving feeling!" Ahem, those reading this know exactly what I am talking about, don't you?
But wait! How can you know that the person you think is right for you, is really truly right for you?
It's easy, well, maybe...leastwise it isn't all that difficult if you know what YOU really want, need, and have your own self put together. If you are relatively emotionally healthy, stable, and your life is in semi-order all you have to do is make sure that you ask the appropriate questions to your "new" love interest.
Questions that will help you determine how your likes and dislikes, and needs and wants, line up with those of your new love interest. And of course, we all know by this point in our lives, that it takes more that "loving feeling" to create a life with another adult. Each time one of my adult children have a falling out with a significant other, I gently remind them that sometimes 'loving someone isn't enough to make it work'...especially if there are some core differences & personality clashes.
Here's a few questions to get you started thinking in regards to your new (or not so new) love interest, especially if you are walking on sunshine singing "I've got that loving feeling..."
(This list was found somewhere on the Internet...not mine, but an EXCELLENT list! IMHO)
1. Kids or no kids?
2. Smoking or no smoking?
3. Drinking or no drinking? (Same for drugs)
4. Religious beliefs: Match? Blend? Clash?
5. Who works? Who stays home (especially when the kids come along)?
6. Who wants to live where?
7. Who controls the checkbook?
8. What is his/her personal relationship with his/her family? Too distant? Too close?
Too weird? Appropriate to your standards?
9. How are holidays spent? At home? With family? Alone? Vacationing?
10. Windows opened or closed? Heat/AC on or off?
11. What side of the bed must you (he/she) sleep on?
12. Where to spend vacations? Leisure time?
13. Sick: Left alone or babied?
14. Appropriate gift giving: birthdays? Yuletide holidays? Special occasions?
15. Who does what around the house?
16. What is acceptable hygiene?
17. What are his/her hobbies, pastimes?
18. Preferences: Music? Movie? Book favorites?
19. Favorite foods?
20. Pets or no pets? What kind?
21. Decisions about the children: School, church, discipline, allowance,
extra curricular activities, friends, and curfew?
22. Mealtimes: Early or late?
23. Furniture: Vintage or Contemporary?
24. Sleeping habits: Four hours or eight?
Believe it or not, issues such as sleeping habits, handling illness, and spiritual beliefs can whittle away at that "loving feeling" until you are singing, "Everything I hate about you..."!
As for me, being "gifted" can help in the dating department, BUT simple observation can tell you a lot about a person. If you are too shy to straight out ask the questions (Lord knows I have never been accused of that--I am very out spoken!) Begin observing behaviors early in the relationship to size up the compatibility factor: How does your new love handle a crisis? Behave in public places? Treat servers? Treat your friends and family?
If you are in love -- if you've finally met Mr. or Ms. Right -- step back from all that singing, ooohhing & ahhhing for a moment and get answers to all of the above. You will find out whether or not this new relationship is one that will or will not last. As they say, love can be blind, but if it is going to last, love also has to be practical--straight from the heart of a practical Virgo!
And on that note...I will be available for calls off & on today throughout the evening w/breaks. If I am on a break, simply place a callback to ensure we connect.
Have a wonderfully blessed Thursday...and at least toy with some of the questions above!
Melody "Lil Mel"