Releasing Resentments
Yesterday, I posted a piece I had written about forgiveness and its significance for creating self-love. As I thought more about that particular blog, it dawned on me that perhaps I should have elaborated more.
Many times it is another person’s behavior that causes us hurt, anger, or humiliation; generating feelings of resentment toward the person. When we hold these feelings of resentment within, we are only hurting ourselves. I may not have a green thumb, but the one thing I can grow is resentments!
I have several close friends that participate in a recovery program which entails working a 12-step program. One of the things a person in recovery has to work on is letting go of resentments; I believe there is a step that covers this issue. So often I would tease my friends that since I wasn’t the one in recovery I could hold onto all the resentments I wanted, whereas their recovery hinged on letting go of resentments.
Of course, this isn’t necessarily true, as I only cause myself more pain and anguish by harboring resentments. Life is full of choices; therefore it is my choice whether to hold onto resentments or to release them. We only hurt ourselves by letting resentments reside within; lowers our own energy level, creates lack of enthusiasm, and reduces our effectiveness.
When people act inappropriate or unkindly toward us, we must strive to not take it personally. For their behavior is but a reflection of where they are in their life; not a true picture of who we are. Others bad behavior or unkind acts diminishes love and light from their own lives, creating their own unhappiness and discontent.
Naturally, I would never suggest that anyone spend time with a person who behaves inappropriately or is unkind toward them. I will not place myself in a position where I am subjected to bad behavior, cruelty, or unkindness. To be honest, I take offense if a person raises their voice above a certain level or speaks with a harsh tone toward me. Such behavior causes my body to tense, eyebrow to raise, my ears to go deaf, my body to do an about face, and my feet to walk away. 
One of the key phases I use with my clients is, forgive the person, not the behavior. In other words, it’s acceptable to send this person loving caring thoughts from a safe distance. When we send out loving thoughts toward the person we resented we are healing ourselves. We free ourselves from the pain and anger. As we attract what we think about, releasing negative thoughts allows for a more positive attitude. By letting go of the resentment and forgiving the person, we are breaking patterns, changing thought processes, and creating a more loving attitude; benefiting ourselves and the other person.
While forgiveness is a practice that benefits all year long, we are in the season of newness. It’s a perfect time to begin letting go of resentments and forgive those who have acted unkindly toward us. We can start today, turning old anger into a healing energy of loving caring thoughts.