The Dating Dance
I tell my clients that dating is like a dance. All the moves in a dance can be applied to successful dating. Here are some simple steps to get on the right foot in your romantic life.
Making a move: If your partner takes a step such as a phone call, text, or email. Then you can take a step, but only one. If you send 3 emails or text to your partners 1 you just stepped all over their feet! This is true of the amount of wording an email should contain. One paragraph should not be replied to with a mini novel. Keeping balance and equality is your best move yet. Mirror your partners responses at first to be in perfect sync with each other.
Dips and Turns: As you find yourselves deeper into the dating process what happens here is emotions have begun to run a little higher than at first. With a more loving feeling comes worries about loosing this happiness. Insecurities are elevated and with these issues playing in the background like music the risk of misunderstandings are higher. This is usually where a small issue comes up and some words of reassurance come in. An example of this is Sally meets Kevin in a popular singles bar. They have been dating about 2 months when Kevin tells her it's his friends birthday and he needs Saturday away from her to go to the same club and celebrate his friends birthday. Of course Sally will worry he is going there to pick up women since that is how they met. It's too early for her to say anything or come off jealous. So she says,"okay" but inside she is dying. On Sunday Kevin calls to ask Sally to lunch and she is quiet and a little distant. Kevin asks her what's wrong and she tells him how she feels about his going out without her. He assures her for the first time that he really likes her alot and if he wasn't so embarrassed of how immature his friends were he would have invited her. Now she feels better and they go forward happily. She was just given some indication he is taking this to the next step. This first mini fight always happens so real talking can take place. Too bad we have to go to such lengths to express ourselves huh?
The Big Finale: Sex is the big finale of any new dating situation. It should be saved until you have a chance to make some other steps together. I cannot tell you how many times I get calls where after sex the other person disappeared. The reason for this is if you do this dance before knowing each other a little better you are being very close and personal with a stranger really! If one or both people feel awkward or embarrassed the next day about not being in the best shape or forgetting to shave because it was unplanned. It is too easy to run from this situation because there is nothing anchoring you or them emotionally to brave through it. I don't care if your partner is putting all the moves on you, indicating they really want this moment now. If you only just met a week ago tread carefully. This can lead to heartbreak if you go for the big finale too soon. It's best if you like this person enough to want to date them long term to wait a little bit.
I am a relationship choreographer if you feel your love interest has changed their tune, fallen out of sync with your rhythm, or your relationship is just the same routine over and over.... I can help.