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Tips for Dating Online

Online dating is great if you are too busy to go out and meet people but it has its drawbacks. Everything from lying about appearance, outdated photos, and "serial daters" can be discouraging.

Serial Daters. This is a term used to describe a person who is just looking to see who might be interested or has become hooked on the attention. A Serial Dater has lost sight of  why they joined in the first place and is too concerned with who comes next. Make sure you do not become one of these people in the process either. Since it's sight unseen at first there can be a good amount of fibbing going on I can help you find a meaningful connection with a few simple pointers. First of all, everyone who first joins is hoping to find love the more negative experiences one has can tarnish this vision. Too, people are often unprepared for the volume of emails they might get. So the first thing to do is to take a proactive role in seeking your connection. Look through the new profiles only, new people are more optimistic and less jaded. The other thing is by looking for yourself you may be more dedicated to making it work seeing he or she was your personal selection not just some 'whoever' that dropped you an email.

Verify Facts. Ask for their last name it's okay to be a little nosey. If someone has a life story that sounds like a book's character for example "I work for the FBI"  then ask for verification. In the information age all you need to find out about someone is their last name.  www.intelius.com is an excellent site when you need to know for sure. If someone's life sounds far fetched it probably is. Also if life in another country facinates you then save up and visit do not try to date online this way it leaves too much room for inventing oneself. There are too many factors you cannot verify. It is also very costly to fall for someone at a great distance. Which leads to the next factor that helps build success....

Meeting in Person. Prior to meeting you should speak to the person at least once. The phone is a great indicator of what type of chemistry can be expected. If you are struggling to have a conversation on the phone then in person it will be dreadful! If the phone call flows then the meeting will too. Common sense says always meet in public the first time. Never let someone pick you up from your home. You should meet fairly quickly no sense developing an online relationship with someone who has mannerisms or habits you are not attracted to. Meeting early is imparitive this way you don't waste precious time on someone who may not be a true match. Never try to force a match don't over look a bunch of personality traits or interests that vary from your own. Thinking maybe they will work anyway. This is like trying on a size 6 shoe if you wear an 8 you cannot force such things. Chemistry is either there or it's not.

Where to Meet. Try to pick something with an activity so there are things to talk about, for example miniture golf. This is a lighthearted silly place where your bad swing might make you fun and endearing. Plus if it turns out you only want to be friends this is not a romantic candlight dinner where it could be awkward. It is a no pressure situation. Chemistry can't be rushed so do something fun and lighthearted first there is plenty of time for dinners later.

Profile Photos. It is important to be honest make sure your picture is recent. No one can date you 10 years ago they are dating you now. No one likes the aging process but we all face it. There are several ways to spot an older photo. Really study hairstyle and clothing make sure it's current. Study the background is the decor recent? There are colors and patterns that were very clearly attached to the 80's and 90's. Still unsure? Plan to meet up. Another issue is profiles with out a photo. In rare cases a highly sucessful person may not wish to publicly be on a dating site. They should offer to send you photos in a first email. Everyone else has something to hide or might be married. Photo's are a must. Make a rule:

                                                                     No picture = No time.

I hope this helps and if you still aren't sure I can read from just a first name or even a screename and tell you what kind of person they are. Call me!

Published Saturday, August 02, 2008 9:37 PM by AllMyAngels

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Comments

# re: Tips for dating online @ Tuesday, July 01, 2008 10:55 AM

Started dating on line recently but the person does not say much about himself or answer any questions directly. He writes very nice peoms but I need a little bit more, am I too demanding?

sue

# re: Tips for dating online @ Saturday, August 02, 2008 6:24 PM

type the first few lines of his poems into your google browser to make sure he isn't copying them from a site :)

AllMyAngels

# re: Tips for dating online @ Saturday, August 02, 2008 8:00 PM

lying by ommission is a big red flag Sue it is what he is NOT saying that's the problem if you feel funny trust that feeling and move on if it feels fishy then it is. We were built with a very good detection system the issue lies in trusting those instincts. Go with your first gut feeling!

AllMyAngels

# re: Tips for dating online @ Sunday, August 03, 2008 4:57 AM

This article is just what I needed. Just recently I considered online dating, and now I know what to look out for.
As for the reading you gave me in July, you were so accurate. I will be calling you again soon.
xo  

keeperofsecrets

# re: Tips for dating online @ Sunday, August 03, 2008 8:56 AM

I too was considering on-line dating, but after reading this I have changed my mind.  I think the  'old fashioned way' still works best - do the things that you enjoy doing, and, sooner or later, you are bound to meet someone who enjoys doing the same thing.

'Marina'

marinachristie

# re: Tips for Dating Online @ Tuesday, August 12, 2008 8:50 PM

it is not a bad place but you have to know what to look for there are more and more career oriented professionals joining due to lack of time to go out as often. This too has it's drawbacks because it means less time for you. Unless you are a busy professional too! Then it's perfect!

AllMyAngels

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