The Waiting Game
A common question I get daily and other Readers I'm sure is-"WHEN will he call, WHEN will he see me again, OR "How much LONGER do I WAIT?" I often wonder..What ARE they waiting ON and why??
The one thing I DO know is that life is too short to play what I refer to as "THE WAITING GAME"! People come in and out of our lives for various reasons-sometimes to teach us something about what we REALLY are seeking-or vice versa. THEN when that person suddenly 'disappears' after 1-3 dates or 3-4 months--we get all tore out of frame wondering "WHAT DID "I DO" wrong!?" Most of the time absolutely 9 times out 10-NOTHING! It can mean there was not a connection for 'them' at the time-timing was wrong-yet women I think moreso than men get into the 'blame game'-after dates or weeks go by - and decide well "MAYBE I'll just wait this out' and he will call or come back around'. The man could be single BUT also he could be married also. THEN you justify that his time spent with you isn't always 'necessary' sometimes-and a real reason that is valid AND excusable so you 'have to wait' until he is FREE to be with you. Some sit by the phone waiting on a 'text message' or begin to have nothing BUT thoughts of this one man can can develop bad habits such as excessive bing eating/smoking and/or drinking-driving themselves nuts wondering "what did I do WRONG?!" when it has nothing to do with who did what! Then comes a period of they can't 'think about nothing' BUT HIM-everything seems to be a reminder of 'that date' or time spent on the phone-until it becomes an obsession. You stop going out with friends-excusing it with 'how busy you are' when you really are NOT! You sit home chewing off your nails-as you watch the hours go by on the clock-then are tempted to call him 'just in case' he's just been busy-but you KNOW you shouldn't so you get angrier by the minute-wondering what is WRONG with this guy! Doesn't he KNOW this isn't fair to you-after you showered so much attention on him and told him how great he was! He seemed so interested for weeks-then suddenly NO texts, no calls nada???
Some things in life we just learn 'over time'-NEVER assume you know what a man 'feels OR thinks'. Just because you had a few dates and he didn't call back-OR he just dropped off the face of the earth-doesn't mean YOU put YOUR LIFE ON "HOLD"! Don't assume an attached guy (has girlfriend OR wife*) will just drop the relationship OR end it - because he already 'knows' YOU are 'waiting'. You're only fooling one person here-yourself-while in the meantime HE goes on with his everyday life-his daily routine-while YOU are 'waiting' and waiting and waiting. Soon your attitude gets so irritable even friends stop calling you-because that's ALL you talk about--how LONG you've been waiting for this man to 'come around again or call you'! In the meantime-your friends all sit wondering what it will take for you to 'see the TRUTH' and they're not about to tell you-they know they may as well be talking to a brick wall.
The bottom line is this...
NEVER wait on anyone-unless it's a hubby in the military or a situation where you are DEEPLY INVOLVED with a man you KNOW loves you-and some things do change under even the BEST and the WORST in love and marriages. But to put your 'life on HOLD' for anyone you have dated-they disappear, and you wonder "WHEN will he call me again... WHEN will he see me.....? How LONG do I "wait"?
Answer: you DON'T!
Life is a beautiful thing and so is love-but your priority is to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST-and then "IF" you find the RIGHT MATE.. you won't 'wonder OR wait'. TRUE LOVE will be there FOR YOU-not hiding from you and never there for you. You cannot EVER get back one minute or one day of your precious time in your life. The next time you catch yourself asking anyone...How long should I 'wait'..?? Think about every moment of your time and the life you will NEVER get back if you spend it 'waiting and waiting.. and waiting'! People will come and go in and out of your life as long as you live. There IS a reason they come-there will be reasons they must leave also. It's not for us to question this-but to realize relationships with others are subject to change. It IS up to us to learn when to let go; and a time to remember that everyone we encounter in our lives is here to teach us something. If we can remember this-it will remind us to release others from our paths as others will surely enter in at the proper moment in time-to fulfill a need in us. SO-IF you ever catch yourself playing "The Waiting Game"-just remember it's a game that nobody 'wins'.