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Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

The below is taken from an anonymous survey I took-from REAL men-how they view commitment-and what are the reasons they avoid it-AND what women need to know!

This IS an informative must-read article-based on men all ages-20-50!  Names have been changed due to privacy reasons!

Allen-"I love to just be open to whatever clicks for me at the moment.  I want variety in my relationships-meaning I love different types of women for different reasons-and I see nothing wrong with that!  It is cool to me to just have a chick to hang out with though on a regular basis.  Commitment isn't for me-as I like my freedom-to chose who I want to date-and like being confined to 'one woman'!

Jonathan-"Personally I avoid commitment-and am afraid of getting hurt as to why-  I have been burned in the past- by many females-so main reason for me-FEAR!

Peter-"I gave my 'all' to one female in what I thought was a 'commited relationship'.   The woman I cared for walked out on me regardless-of all I had given her and the energy I put into this relationship.   I don't have the heart to try it again-I'd rather be single!"

Tom-"Women always look 'hard at a man' but don't take the time to look at THEMSELVES in a commited relationship.  I've had 3 relationships in which I thought was a total commitment.  One female became cold and controlling-wanting to watch every move I made-every place I went to-and became insecure and jealous.  The second female gave me a STD-never even told me she had one!   As for the 3rd-another control freak-and then I'd had it!  I finally decided I wouldn't ever get screwed again-not in that way-ever!   I tried commitment-and gave it-it didn't work-so I gave up!"

Charlie-"Women change once they feel the relationship is a 'commitment'!  They do things they never did before and stopped doing what they did that won my attention in the first place!"

Andy-"Women can put on the biggest 'front' when they WANT a man-but then when you give into what you THINK they want-they can turn a 180 degree turn-and become a stranger you never knew!   Women can be very misleading to a man when all we want to have is someone who doesn't change personalities because of that word-COMMITMENT!"

Walter-"What most women do not know is 'some men' (note I said SOME*)will string a female along just because they enjoy her companionship but most of all the SEX--AND they will NOT let a woman know for them it is not 'serious' and some women think "OH -just because he is having so much 'fun' with me--he MUST be committed to me 'only'!!  Women need to make it plain what they DO and do not want-or at least speak up about it!  For most men-the word COMMITMENT will stop this-and keep them from 'assuming' what they THINK the man is doing'  versus what he 'IS doing'!"

Randy-"I gave up the commitment thing when I realized women wanted to 'control me' everything-where I went to, who I talked to!  After that to me it was no longer about commitment-this is about CONTROL-and women just need to get it-you cannot CONTROL a man-and make him into a puppet to do whatever you want and the constant pressure that puts on a man-is beyond ridiculous!  Isn't it supposed to be about ACCEPTANCE of who a person is-BEFORE you got commited to that person?"

Carl-"Personally I just don't want commitment-been hurt so many times-can't see it.   I don't know what the answer is about love and commitment-I'll just say this...-"Let chemistry develop-see if it 'holds' and then-give it time-LOTS of time!   Women want it-but want it 'NOW"-always in a rush!  Most ALL men can sense this coming-and won't hang around for long!"

George-"I gave it up because of women trying to control my LIFE--telling me I can't do 'what I USED to do before I even met them.  I mean come on--I have always been a flirt in life--that won't change-I got to be myself-isn't that what attracts a woman TO a guy!  I mean come on--Flirting is ok--I'm human!  I mean you got to accept ALL of who a man is and HOW he is when you MEET em--or best to forget him!"

Marvin-"Commitment?  I been there done that-I trusted the woman I met--she had a no count man and I tried to help her out--took her and her 2 kids into my own home fed em, clothed em etc.  I felt sorry for her-but really cared too and what happened?    She cheated on me!   I mean -I am SO afraid to trust again-scared of getting burned isn't the word!"  And women wonder why men won't commit..ask a few of us--we can tell you why!"

Don-"Here's how it is--NO man wants to be pressured into anything in life.  If a woman has any sense about her she'll do 2 things-find out about the mans' background-what they've been through in life, been taught in life by parents-but mainly also the "Dads history" and track record.   What they have been taught and seen in life-once you know--you'll know IF you should withdraw in any relationship--depending on if he been through too much-and how he deals with life in general."

Julian-"Been hurt a lot-burnt many times--commitment?   Yeh maybe one day...A real man will come to a real woman though in time if they truly love her-but it takes time..lots of time...and absolute trust.

What do all these stories contain in common??  The fact that MOST men hurt as badly as women-and want to trust-and have-and been let down.   Will some of these same men ever 'find love again' or even want to?  I hope so.  For now-I hope at least this article has taught every woman SOMETHING--especially this...

MEN want TOTAL acceptance, honesty, respect and trust.

The same things women SAY that they want!


Published Monday, August 16, 2010 10:10 PM by Amoonsmaiden
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Comments

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

Great JOB!!
Monday, August 16, 2010 8:02 PM by Little White Witch

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

Thank You Ronda!   Gives a woman a lot to think about eh? *S*
Monday, August 16, 2010 8:08 PM by Amoonsmaiden

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

Sounds like they are just as disappointed in women as women are disappointed in them . . . Sad really.
Monday, August 16, 2010 8:31 PM by Little White Witch

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

A lot of them yes - but also they did have some valid points on what women 'expect' before making a commitment and how some women treat them after they do. The one guy who talked about checking out the guys 'history' made a very good point-one that a lot of females would rather ignore-and later wish they had 'asked'!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 5:11 AM by Amoonsmaiden

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

Yes, momma always said, go into marriage with your eyes wide open . . . but after the vows . . . close your eyes!

easier said that done
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 7:10 AM by Little White Witch

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

LOL Ronda-well these men were not talking about marriage-just how they were treated when attempting to find a one on one partner for long term commitment!  The main thing I heard was all they wanted was one woman who could be accepting of who they are.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 7:33 AM by Amoonsmaiden

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

I guess then . . . if they want to keep it just a one on one for an extended period of time . . . then they would have to expect their partners eyes to be open all the time!!!

LOL!!  

One on One . . . that sounds like best friends with benefits . . . what ever happened to the institution of marriage?  I thought that was what commitment meant!

I know that is not true today . . . but I think that is why relationships are all screwed up now . . . people don't stay in the relationships or marriages . . . when the going get's tough . . . the tough usually hang in there . . . nothing tough about bailing . . .
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 8:06 AM by Little White Witch

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

Relationships are tough yes-but despite the lack of commitment some men have struggled to keep a  'one on one' committed relationship through 'good and bad'-meaning dedicated to being with only one female-in hopes maybe it would go to marriage one day.  The main thing I learned is regardless of sex-both men and women want the same things in a partner-no matter where it goes-respect, trust and acceptance of who they are.  
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 10:36 AM by Amoonsmaiden

# re: Why REAL Men Say They Won't Commit!

Which brings me back to the 8 essentials of a quality relationship . . . that trust thing is a biggie!  Also Common Beliefs . . .

It just seems that EVERYONE has baggage which is part of mortality . . . maybe more tolerance of each others baggage . . .

Your right though . . . respect, trust and acceptance those are important to both sexes.
Friday, August 20, 2010 2:00 PM by Little White Witch

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