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It's actually quite interesting that once I decided not to let myself be used anymore, and decided to respect myself personally, how these people all think I am absolutely no good for anyone. They think I worry or need to have them in my life or something. Sometimes you just have to know when to say 'when', and sometimes it's easier doing it than you thought it would be. We shouldn't be out in life to prove to others we have something unique or valuable to share. A person is going to know who we are and enjoy our company if they are truly our friend. Now, above all else there is one more side to gossiping, amongst people who act friendly but don't have sincere intentions. An example of this would be those pesky people who hang around you in the work place. Be careful of these people, particularly when they are affecting the atmosphere of the work place. Keep in mind that the moment you become involved in the complaint process, you are sure to be drug into the water, and if it will save someone else's neck, even drowned.
 The sad part about everything I mentioned involving my lack of value was that I actually really bought my friends. I wanted to have a couple of people I could call my best friends, so I actually offered myself up to be abused in place of having company.
The good news with all of this is that I also discovered what a real friend is like, and I would never turn back or even think about those people from the past. They are just that to me, another Chapter turned in the book of life. A lesson learned and not to turn back.
| COMMON SENSE WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IS GOING ON
The only way you aren't going to see your friends are using and abusing you is if you just ignore or deny the fact, and no matter what, your heart and mind is always going to tell you the truth.
I CAN SAY THIS FROM EXPERIENCE. WHAT I DISCOVERED IS HOW COWARDLY A PERSON WHO IS RUNNING THEIR MOUTH IN REGARDS TO YOU WILL ACTUALLY BE IF YOU ARE THE TYPE OF PERSON TO SAY IT LIKE IT IS. So why do these people have to be so concerned with what's going on in a totally different town, and why must they keep bringing you up around their table when you forgot they even exist? I'll tell you why. First of all, these people will be very jealous of accomplishments taking place in your life, and because they aren't having progress in their own lives they get angry thinking you can. Additionally, these people would have very boring days sitting at their tables and drinking coffee if they didn't have anything to say about someone. So it's partially a matter of boredom, and some very strange and pathetic way of thinking there's bonding between friends by doing this, when in reality the same thing is done as soon as the gossiper turns her back too. ;) Another reason these people gossip is because it makes them feel better about themselves if the negative focus is put on someone else. While their gossiping friend is stirring the cup of coffee the other friend is avoiding looking at her own image and what others see of her, and the only way this can be done is to try to make someone else look worst off than they are.
Yet another possibility is because they have gone way out of their way to try to accumulate at least 300 people to confirm the person they are talking about isn't any good for anything, and yet her partner will never give in to the hate, and continues to have a bond in friendship even at the extent of her raw demands. Yes, this can make someone aggitated with an innocent person just because it's better to take problems out on someone else when someone doesn't like to face their own struggles.
Hurting someone emotionally and trying to take away the value in other human beings is wrong. It's not only wrong, it's disrespectful. We get bad karma for gossiping about others. Don't hurt other people with emotional lies just to make yourself feel good. It's an effective way to avoid gazing in the mirror, or spending hours of terror dealing with who you are and with what you've become.
If you have something to say, find a positive way to share the criticism, and only share it if it's not an opinion and would genuinely help someone. Don't intentially use your words to strike out a heated debate. Instead, use your wisdom to show the brighter side of the darkness. It's a more effective way to get a point across without opening the doors for an argument.
I don't know how many times I've told the gossipers I once knew inner secrets and private issues in my life, only to find out they ran right home to tell all of the top 30 people on their recent 'Lets Talk' list. Even when I had something exciting to share with people it was old news before I ever even got two blocks away, and not because I had a chance to share it. Looking at one side of the note, sometimes something is so important we feel we have to get the situation out in the open, but I honestly believe that a secret isn't a secret if you tell anyone other than yourself. Don't trust just anyone!
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