Dissecting Life

Healing Yourself For Positive Relationships

BACK TO MAIN PAGE, VOLUME V

Self Love And Healing With Relationships  (The first three relationship spreads begin on this page.)

Relationship Spread Group One
Relationship Spread Group Two
Relationship Spread Group Three

Each of these pages have several different types of readings that can help you understand your relationships and yourself much better.  Enjoy!

HOW TO HEAL YOURSELF

There are always little things that you can do to improve your life.  These ideas are simple, and yet they are very effective to dealing with problems or traps in your life that are mentioned with the readings.  This information is being put together to help you become more powerful in your life, and once you start using the processes, you will be able to change your life around.  Although there are very complicated and much harder methods to free your negativity, as long as you have the self motivation to change things, you can easilly make your life much better.  Particularly in those relationships you desire and want so close to you.

You must be willing to make a choice and be able to be willing to forgive those that have come to be a problem in your mind and heart.  You have to quit explaining what your feelings are all about, and actually 'feel' why they are taking place.  Which then can help you to let go of those things that tend to bear heavy on your life, soul and mind.  When you give a gift, it doesn't have to be wrapped.  Saving someone else around you, and even yourself from a situation you have already been involved with is a gift that is much more valuable.  You have to learn that you don't need to rely on everyone else to cure you.  You have to be able to use some self coaching and take control of your own life and what you have to be faced with.  On top of all else, you have to believe in something spiritual, even if it isn't something everyone else believes in.  This is important to help you have faith in the focus of having the strength to conquer the hardships.  Once you do all this, you get to start over, because guess what?  Once you solve one puzzle in your life, a new one will make itself present.  That's because we were placed here on earth to figure things out, and therefore, once you solved one issue, it's time to solve the next.

CHOICES:

Having or using a choice that's available actually means you are using the power of your mind.  One thing most should understand is that your decisions are the very aspects that lead you in the same directions and help you to create your attitude towards yourself, situations and others.  Some problems can't be fixed just like that with the snap of a finger because these problems tend to have many layers that have to be worked through before the issue that has you trapped can be setting you free.  But each time you do decide to change a situation you have now faced and recognized, you will become a more peaceful person inside, so it's so worth it to take the journey.  It doesn't matter if there are several layers, as long as you understand that each layer leads you closer to a solution.

FORGIVENESS:

If you are going to make the choice to connect with your feelings and emotions, you also have to be ready to open up or reunite with the people you thought you would never give another chance to.  This opens you up more to partnerships.  We all have to be able to forgive those who we love from time to time, just not all the time.  This is the simplest and easiest way to be able to let go of a problem and help yourself by not being bothered with it.  If you forgive someone else, it often takes the judgment away, and makes it easier on yourself.  Forgiveness brings you a resolution, an answer to the problem.  It also brings you inner peace, confidence and happiness.  All of this can hel you to be a better person as well as make it easier to deal with the person who you felt created the problem.  Even if the simplest form of help is achieved through simply discovering what you are attacking, it's an improvement.  You may have a lot of grievances with one person or one situation and it's important you remember it may be hard to get through the problem, but a solution does exist.  When you feel good about yourself and the situation and how you handled it, it's the first step towards knowing you made the effort, and this is good because it also helps you to clear any judgment being passed upon you as well, but also helps you to have more compassion for others. 

Forgiveness not only fixes what's been broken, but it also helps to take away fear or guilt that may be felt on either end with the situation.  You should use forgiveness in a positive way to help change the situation.  if you can't say it to the person you are working on healing yourself over, at least say it to them with your imagination.  It's the first start, and very important.  And what you may hate, is if at first you don't have success, you're going to have to try and try again.  This means you just simply have to keep working at learning forgiveness until you can actually complete the plan.

FEELING YOUR FEELINGS

You need to think about those emotions that you have that have never gone away in regards to that special someone in your life.  It's always good to reunite yourself with your feelings and emotions so that you can figure out what to do about them, rather than ignoring them and sitting around making up excuses.  This is actually one of the easiest ways to be able to let go of a problem you have to face in the relationship and set yourself free.  You need to practice sitting down and absolutely starting off by thinking exactly what it is you feel at this exact moment.  Once you have completed this, your next step will be to think about it again, but this time change it a little.  Take away a little part of the anger, and substitute is for something positive.  Keep on doing this until you have been able to change your emotions to those feelings which are more optimistic for the happiness you wish to receive. 

Doing this method of helping yourself through your issues will also often help you discover that there's actually more than one problem that has to be dealt with.  Simply keep working through them all until you have completely changed your thoughts process.

LETTING GO

One thing that's important for you to know is that any amount of pain, no matter how much it actually is became a result from the things you wanted, or those things you didn't get to have.  If you quit allowing yourself to want things so badly, or allowing yourself to feel you never get what you desire, you'll actually figure out your dreams just fall in your lap.  This makes total sense, and as an example, I'll use money.  When I have bills, and I feel like I'm drowning, and I'm blaming the world, the money never comes.  But if I just don't fret over the money, or I don't need the money so bad any more, the money just seems to fall in my lap.  This is but one example of how this really works, but it works the same with all aspects of your life.

If you are currently in a relationship that isn't necessarily what you planned on or was looking for, instead of throwing away what you have with this person, how about just looking with a true perspective of what you have?  One of the problems you may encounter in dealing with letting go, is being able to let go of someone that you want, that you just don't seem to be able to have.  However, you will find that if you actually take this big, and very hard step, that someone new could come along and swipe you off your feet, or even better yet, your partner you had to sort of brush off may actually come back to you, have learned a lesson, and would be more of what you are looking for.  It's almost like the statement if you love something you can set it free, because if it was yours it would always come back.

And okay, if you are sitting there telling yourself, or others, that you have done everything, and still NOTHING is coming your way, you have been fooling yourself, and maybe even your friends.  If you aren't getting it, you have to stop kidding yourself, and you have to figure out what part you have not let go of just yet, because perhaps there is more than one layer of problems you have to sift through.

You have to be able to not hold on to what you feel you have invested yourself into.  You have to be able to choose to relinquish or open the door for someone to leave to be able to move on and find your success in some of these cases, and if it's just that hard on you, then perhaps you should turn to towards your spiritual power, and allow yourself to put your mind into the hands and faith of a higher power.  It's always a little easier if someone else can take care of things for us when we don't feel like it.  In return for having faith, you will be able to restore your inner peace as well as acquire stronger confidence.

GIFT GIVING

In every type of problem situation, there is something you could do to make things better.  What you would do to make things better is what your gift really is.  You are giving yourself something special by using the power of your mind to figure out what could be done to make things better.  You may not even know that you have this gift inside which may confuse you to the fact you could actually make it better.  Some solutions are so deep inside we don't at first acknowledge that we can find the courage to be able to find it, and such an example of this is the fact that major problems often have major gifts, but they are hidden and have to be found.  Where as, if you sat down and actually thought about it, you would be opening yourself up because you were willing to discover what this gift is you possess to fix your problems.  Not only would you be a benefit to yourself, but you would also help many others on the same journey.  Either they are full blown involved, sort of getting started, or just beginning, you can help them to avoid a  lot of the pain you encountered by helping them deal with things the way you knew how.

You may be able to feel inside what would fix the situation, in that aspect, go for it.  You may also just know because you got a reading and it was pretty evident what the procedure would have to be.  Using these gifts to clear things up may not only help your history, mind and soul, but those for generations to come, and from generations past.  Using your gift is particularly very useful when you have been passed down pain or conflicts from your parents, who ultimately the ones who should only be protecting you.

SELF COACHING

If you have endured a great deal from the past, and you have unfinished pain that tends to interfere with your life or relationships, you should recognize it as some form of unfinished business that has taken several days, months or even years to come to the surface.  If you just can't find the problem, you can contact me for a reading if you are willing to actually listen to what is going to be said to you.  If over time you discover that the root of all of your problems comes from this pain, you can think of yourself as an older spirit now, but your younger spirit now seeks to find an innocence and discover the answers to being able to use your gift, or to be able to forgive those we didn't think was possible.  By doing this, we can totally transform our lives to be the exact model of what we have always hoped for. 

If you have a problem that comes up in your life, and you are attacking a specific person or situation, it is really because you are punishing yourself and blaming yourself for what has gone wrong.  You are only really thinking about something that hurts you, and not really about what they did, so therefore the grievance you have with them can be fixed if you just quit taking it so personally.  You can coach yourself with any of the methods that are mentioned, and you will get a inner peace with your reflections.  Use your abilities, your mind, and your power to learn how to let go, forgive and forget, and you'll be able to heal yourself, and if it's too hard to do this, remember put your faith in a higher power.  (Just like people who are recovering alcoholics....God grants them the serenity to change the things they can not change, and the wisdom to know the difference.  Although I may not have that statement written just right.  lol  Oh well, it's just an example.)

If fixing the first spot you were informed about didn't bring you that inner peace yet, then it's time to start on the layer underneath that caused it.  You must keep breaking through the barriers to get to the bottom part.  You know, just like mining for gold.  You may not actually find what's worth while until you've gone several feet down, through layers and layers, and if there is a problem that you are ignoring, then you are going to remain stuck.

ASKING FOR A HIGHER POWER TO INTERVENE

I would say ask in god, but it really doesn't matter if your faith is in God, or if your faith is in a female goddess.  What matters is that you have made the decision to ask a higher power to lift this problem from your shoulders and life, and because of this effort, you can have more faith that things will work out.  Faith and knowing is the most important part of being able to heal.  Knowing you can do something will help you easily do what has to be done, and in the end will make you the much stronger person, but if you feel weak inside, there's nothing wrong with asking the divine for a little intervention and help. 

TAKING THE NEXT STEP

Wow, so you thought you were done now once you took care of the one issue that was pointed out to you huh?  Well, guess what?  You're not, because just as soon as one problem is solved, another problem tends to reach the surface.  It's a never ending battle that remains to be taken care of, but always with new aspects of life.  The good news is that with each conflict we find a solution to, we become a stronger person, and know for the next problem that if we could get through the last issue, we are ready to face any issues.