Attracting Love and Romance Easy
Many women and men ask me how to attract the opposite sex. While I may not have scientific data to back up my opinions, I have a long track record of attracting attention from the opposite sex. Whether single or married, if you want to increase your attraction factor then read on.
All through my twenties and thirties I had men who would attempt to get me to go on a date. When that didn't work, they would begin posing as a "friend" in hopes of gaining my trust enough to date them. Mind you, I dated a few losers during that time period. So Mr. Friend would fill in when I didn't have a date, needed help with weekend chores or needed a shoulder to cry on. Sound familiar men? Do you or someone you know try to be the "friend" in hopes the woman will see what a great "catch" you are? Keep reading and you will see how that can work against you in most cases if you want romance from the woman. (I said "most" not "all")
Ladies, do you have men lined up that you can choose from or do you set your sights on one man and focus solely on winning him? Have you met a great guy, gone out and had a great time only to have him disappear with no explanation? Are you in a relationship and your man is just not that attentive or interested anymore? Then read on and learn how to become a magnet of attraction.
I can hear your defenses already. But Bernadette your pretty, petite and blah blah blah..... Honestly, physical beauty has little to do with creating attraction and magnetizing a relationship. I have had girlfriends and guy friends who have put a few principles into play and gotten the same results as I have.
The number one factor in being attractive is Self Esteem and Confidence. You have to KNOW who you are and what you want. The most charismatic people are those that project an energy of self sufficiency and self worth. Although cliche', you must love yourself first in order for others to love you. It doesn't matter what your family, social or physical background is, you can and should believe in yourself.
As I began working on myself at the age of eighteen I started writing in a journal. I wrote all the talents, skills and things I recognized as strengths about myself. I also took note of my limiting beliefs, things I saw as weaknesses and set out to change them. I chose to not pay attention to what others thought about me and I gave up on getting anyone's approval. Once it didn't matter how people viewed me, I was able to be authentic and confident. My self esteem soared. I was able to look people in the eye that I didn't know. I was able to have fun whether I was alone or in a big crowd of people. Mind you, I was pretty shy growing up and I lived more in books then the real world. Focusing on being happy, growing spiritually and reaching my goals became my primary focus and the platform for confidence and self esteem.
I noticed a strange phenomenon as I started dating. The more I cared if a certain guy was noticing me, the more I repelled him. The more I ignored him and payed attention to others, the more he pursued me. Then once sure I had his attention, I would solely focus on him. Then "poof" he was gone. Sound familiar?
After some trial and error I discovered I had to qualify these guys and classify them, "Friend", "Booty Call", "Long Term Guy" or "Loser - Run Away Fast". I also discovered the more I wanted a guy to fit into the "Long Term Guy" category the quicker I lost myself and my self esteem.
Once I just went out to have fun, experience life and meet new people, I had men lined up waiting for a turn to take me out. I was so "in demand" I had to schedule dates within hours of each other. During the first few dates with a man, I would say very little about myself, and let them talk. I would not answer personal questions about what I was looking for other then to say, "fun, honesty and interesting conversation". Once a man was pursuing more consistently I would let him know I was deciding what category he fit into. I never became a man's "booty call", however if he wanted to be mine while I continued my search for a relationship, he had to follow my rules. I also made it clear that I don't get intimate with "friends". So the man knew I was sizing him up, not the other way around.
The amazing part of being determined to get what you want, you won't settle for whatever is offered. As you take this stance, your self esteem soars and others can sense it. People are attracted to strength not neediness. The more self sufficient you are, the more independent. People are looking for someone to love that can love them and share their lives with. When someone senses an energy of need in you, it repels them. This is true even in a committed relationship.
Women, if a man senses the stack of "Modern Bride" hiding under your bed, he will run and run fast. Men, if a woman senses the distinct fear of being alone in you, she will run. Both exude an energy of desperation and need.
In the next article I will give you guidelines to follow in identifying and categorizing potential romantic interests. After that, we will explore the keys to keeping the flame lit on committed partnerships and saving a lifeless partnership.
For today, write a list of all your strengths. Include your talents, skills, character and personality traits. Then write a separate list of weaknesses that you want to transform into strengths and begin working on changing. The more you know yourself, the more confident and attractive you will be.
Stay tuned!!
Blessings,
Bernadette Dickinson
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