What?
Hate IS the opposite of Love you say?
I disagree. Vehemently.
Hate and Love have too many similarities. The primary similarities are that both emotions require an intense energy and both emotions take time to develop and to expend.
When we hate someone, it is usually an extension of an anger that is burning within us, or a feeling that one of the conditions of being entitled to our love has not been met. Striving to love unconditionally is learning to let go of hate, anger and resentment.
The opposite of Love is not Hate, it is Apathy.
Think about it.
When we fall out of love with someone, when the love has truly run it's cycle, we begin the process of "not caring", not focusing, and not being attentive to what that individual is going through.
In Hate, the object of our admonitions is likely to get much of our attention and energy.
I have to say that during the times in my life when I truly fell "out of Love", I did not hate the person, not at all, I just did not want to affiliate or interact with them any longer. I wanted to move on, and although I did not necessarily want to hurt them, I did want to extinguish the bond between us.
In my younger years I was actually very irresponsible about this. I would pull a "disappearing act", change my circle of friends and socialize in places where I knew the object of my apathy would not expect me to be or seek me. I changed my phone numbers and never responded to their attempts at connecting. I was not unkind when ending a relationship, it's just that I did it like a lightening bolt. Once I decided I was done, I was done, and began to immediately move on, there was no lingering.
This may have been painful for my new ex's over the years, however, it prompted them to give up and move on quickly, with my blessings, by the way. I am, to this day, still friends with each and everyone of my ex's, with the exception of my ex-husband, and I don't hate him, I just don't wish to imbibe in the friendship of the man for reasons I will explain someday.
In retrospect, I should have taken my time with these jilted boyfriends and explained to them why I needed to end our connection in a kind manner. It would have meant more work for me, but less negative Karma later on. To this end, I have, in later years, explained myself to these gentlemen and rekindled friendships and been forgiven.
On the other hand, in the instances where I have hated an individual, (quite frankly, it has never been a love, it has been a female friend or two that evoked this feeling in me), it was usually boiled down to a feeling that I had been betrayed by that individual.
The "hates" of my life were people I once cared deeply for and in essence, by hating them, I still did. In each case, it was because of the hurt I perceived they had laid on me.
In recent years, as I have matured, I have learned that my hate is not only non-productive, but also very draining to my overall energy, affecting my health and well-being. So what I have done is become very practiced in the art of forgiveness. I try to look at those I felt the emotion of hate for and examine the situations from their side of the coin. At times, you just have to accept that some people are just not as evolved as others and forgive them for their shortcomings. If they had intentionally hurt me, I also try to forgive them and try to understand that they may have knowingly hurt me, but are as yet, too self-centered to have the realization of the karma they are putting upon their own souls, and wish that they grow into a better understanding of how each and every action produces a reaction in the universe, either actively or passively. I have even taken responsibility for situations I unwittingly caused or allowed to grow negative, and forgiven myself. I have sought forgiveness through apology and deed in cases where I could.
God and the Universe will take care of doling out whatever lessons they need to learn, just as my lessons have been sent my way, and I just "give it up to God", and let Karma play itself out, and remove my energy and attention away from these individuals and allow apathy to replace the love I once carried for them.
Hate eats you up inside, it keeps you from moving forward, it burns your energy and wastes your time. Don't worry about how someone has hurt you to the point of wasting your time. Instead focus your energy on growing in a better and healthier way toward understanding human nature. We are highly fallible beings, and the best that we can hope for is to hurt each other in as limited ways as possible and to have the opportunity to love as many people as we can while we are here.
Hate is not the opposite of Love, Hate is Love in it's angriest, ugliest form.
When I die, I want a LOT of people to attend my services, as I believe the greatest exit from this life will be one in which everyone feels "She was well-loved, and she knew how to love".
Just a little reflection today from the mind of Brigid Bishop.
Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop
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