So, You Are a Masculine Energy Female You Say? The Dating Game Continues, by Brigid Bishop
Ok, you've read my views and insights to date on the Feminine Energy female and you see how that works for them, but it's just not you. Although you are truly female through and through, you are a Masculine Primary Energy Female.
What does this mean?
It means that you are probably primarily Air or Fire in your natal chart, and there are several other indicators of this primary energy. You are likely to have been first born, or perhaps responsible as a youngster for normally adult duties. You have been the one (all of your life), who takes charge of situations, you know what is best for those you love, you are protective of those you love, you are assertive in your outward actions, you tend to see what you want and go after it, never waiting for it to come to you.
Go Girl!
This is my primary energy, so I understand it well, and know the pitfalls.
Here are some of the issues that a Masculine Energy Female tends to encounter:
a) Being such a strong entity, you believe that you need a strong male, even stronger than you are (i.e. a Masculine Energy Male).
b) Although you have spent a lifetime being strong, you long for someone to let your guard down around.
c) You find yourself frequently in leadership positions, whether you seek to lead or not.
d) You tend to provide for those you love, whether they ask for it or not, sometimes gifting them to death, to show your love. However, when you don't receive to the same degree in return, it stings.
e) AGAIN, you believe you need a Masculine Energy Male in your life and you frequently pursue this type of male.......
Ok, let's look at your need and longing for a Masculine Energy Male. You have spent your life taking care (quite well, I might add), of yourself and others. You provide materially, economically, emotionally and perhaps spiritually. You protect them. You coach them. You have earned their respect and their trust. You are an icon of strength and reliability to them. You may not have had a strong father figure, and thus, have fathered yourself and those around you, or perhaps you had an extremely strong father figure, and thus, emulated his behaviour in preference over your mother's possibly passive behaviour.
As adult women we tend to seek either men who are identical to our early father figures, or the extreme opposite.
Ok, so the man you want needs to be a good provider in every sense of the word as above, a protector, a coach and confidant, and worthy of your trust and respect. He must be strong and reliable.
You meet such a man.
You pursue him....assertively. You walk up to him, you start the conversation, you initiate the next contact, the masculine male is flattered, and since you are dealing with him on his "masculine" terms, he believes you to be capable of continuing the connection in a very "male" way. Which means, he assumes he already has your trust and respect, he knows you can take care of yourself and therefore feels no need to protect you, he knows you are competent so he feels no need to coach or guide you, and he knows you are strong so there is no need to "coddle" you by courting you as he would a feminine energy female.
The problem here is, there is no balance. You basically have left no room for nurturing, cherishing or protection to take place, so your relationship itself takes on a masculine energy. The effects tend to be that since you are both operating in masculine mode, he frequently doesn't call, doesn't make plans, doesn't discuss your issues with you for insight (or his), and you end up in extensive waiting periods between interactions, possibly going into "chase"mode, or delaying any opportunity for commitment between you.
In order to achieve that balance, there are only two options for you.
Option One: If you truly "love" this particular masculine energy entity, you must, inject some feminine energy into the relationship. This means practicing your feminine energy skills, going against your primary energy, or
Option Two: Realizing that you cannot change your primary energy and seeking out the companionship of a Feminine Energy Male.
Let's look at Option One. This is the guy, this is the one, you have to have him, he plays Rhett Butler to the Scarlett O'Hara in your mind. This can be done but it is DIFFICULT to say the least. It is retraining yourself in the ways you utilize your personal powers. It means going into waiting mode for contact, not initiating in any way, going into a mode of purely "accepting" or "rejecting" what the Masculine Energy Male presents to you. Rejecting means, when his behaviour is unacceptable, you simply let him know that you "don't want to feel this way because he has done a, b, or c", "accepting" is offering him positive reinforcement for the actions you do enjoy by telling him "I feel so happy (good, comfortable, etc.) whey you do a, b, or c", and sitting back and letting him take the reigns.
You do not offer him advice, (unless he asks for it), you do not initiate calls or dates, you allow him to set the pace and steer the relationship. In return, you will find that the masculine energy male will feel you "submitting" to his energy and it will bring out the best, most potent masculinity of his nature, providing you with protection from the outside world, guidance, validation of your feelings and cherishment for your feminine nature.
This is all well and good, and as time progresses you will learn to balance out with each other and switch back and forth between your energies, you can allow your masculinity to surface from time to time, etc., as your bond has been formed in balance of the masculine and feminine.
The DANGER here is when you cannot sublimate your masculine energy long enough to achieve balance and you prematurely try to let your natural energy out. If you go along for a month as the feminine energy and then let your masculine energy surface, the male may well feel emasculated and the whole thing can fall to pieces. You have to be patient and assume the feminine energy until you reach the commitment point, projected at around nine months for the average relationship.
The OTHER DANGER is that you may begin to feel emasculated yourself. You may have a PROBLEM giving up that much control and going against your natural energies (I did), and you begin to rebel and take your power back, again, the relationship will fall apart. Examine how hard it would be for you to give up control for a nine month period, and think it through. If it is not in you to have the patience to balance this out through conscious effort, then Option Two is the better option for you.
If you can do it, you can have a working relationship with the masculine energy male. I did it, and so can you, but it was a long, drawn-out process, and now we are at that happy point of commitment and contentment where we both swing back and forth between our Masculine and Feminine. Problems DO still arise when we are both being Masculine or both being Feminine, and that is when I step back, and temporarily switch my energy mode to achieve balance once again. It takes work. All relationships do, it's just knowing what work needs to be done.
Option two would require you to seek the companionship of a Feminine Energy Male from the get-go.
This does not mean that the man is in any way "effeminate", it means that he is not the assertive, driven, masculine energy male. He is frequently left-handed (right-brained), creative and caring, the sensitive type. He prefers to have his feelings validated, and although he may be successful and an excellent wage earner, he is not good at steering his boat and needs direction in the sea of life. These males are almost always creative in some way. They look for strong women to steer them in the right direction, they want your advice and your input from day one. They want and need a masculine energy to balance out their lives. They are not necessarily "weak", but they are more feeling oriented than action oriented as individuals. These are the men that take well to role-reversal situations, becoming the stay at home parent very easily, supporting their wives' careers very naturally, etc.
With these men you are free to fully embrace your Masculine Female Energy. You initiate everything at the beginning, you take charge, you call the shots (and the man), you make the plans for your future, and this male will succumb to your strength and love and respect you.
I have had Feminine Energy lovers in my life, and I have found that the DANGER here is, when I wanted to switch to the balancing mode during the commitment stage, that I became resentful of having to always be in charge, and needed the male to shoulder the lead for awhile, and that is when I broke the commitments. It did not work out for me, but it may for you.
So, if you have no qualms about primarily taking the lead and the control of your relationship, this will work well for you. You know he is truly a Feminine Energy Male if he responds well to your pursuit of him in the beginning. When you call, he calls you right back. When you ask him out, he accepts readily. Whey you suggest a dating activity to him, he is eager to attend. When you tell him of your life issues, he doesn't offer you advice and tell you how to fix it like the Masculine Energy Male will, he listens. If you ask for his guidance he will offer it, but, if you don't ask, he will listen and tell you how he knows how you feel, he will validate your feelings rather than guiding you.
And, again, as your reach the commitment stage, out at around nine months, you will switch back and forth with your energies, but your primary, unless practiced, will always show through.
So, if you have any questions or need to take a deeper look at the energies in your relationships, give me a ring and through the use of Tarot, Intuition and Experience, I will assist you in achieving this energy balance.
Later!
Brigid Bishop