The ONE.
"Are We Meant To Be Together?"
This question, more than any other question that is asked of me makes me very tense. It bothers me because I do not subscribe to the idea or fantasy that there exists out there “The One”.
In my personal belief system, I just cannot buy into this particular myth.
Some people believe that a “Soul Mate” is “The One”, ugh, it rattles my cage when I hear of or read about people encouraging this fantasy in others.
This mindset leads people to pursuing relationships that won’t work and to holding on to relationships that don’t work, and frequently gets them obsessed with an ex.
There is no such thing as “The One”. The Universe is not so cruel as to, in the 6,709,999,582 people who are on the earth, (as of 7/1/08), to only have ONE of these people be an appropriate loving and caring partner for YOU.
Statistically, if you were born on 7/1/08, that would give you a 0.0000000149031305856198000% Chance of finding someone to love!
Do you really believe that the odds are stacked that overwhelmingly against us here on Earth?
I don’t.
I believe that we have dozens, perhaps hundreds or thousands, of mortal counterparts that we can build a happy existence with. Fate plays a hand to some degree, yes, fate being the geographic location of your existence, the personality you were born with, (whether you are an introvert or extrovert), the genetics that compose your outward appearance, how your parents raised you and thus how you are wired emotionally and psychologically and more, but I vehemently disregard that fate controls “who we are meant to be with”.
We CHOOSE who we are with (or not with and pining away after).
So when a client says to me, distraught over a crisis in their current love affair, "Are we meant to be together?" I have no choice but to say, “I cannot in good conscience answer that question as there is no such thing as “The ONE””. This is frequently met with dead silence.
Yes, there may be a soul connection to this individual you love so much, yes, they may even be your “Soul Mate”, (Click HERE to gain understanding of what a Soul Mate actually is), but they are NOT the only “ONE” and it is not “Meant To BE” you must choose to MAKE IT BE! And to top that off, they must also decide, hopefully concurrently, that they want you to be THEIR ONE.
So you’re relationship is in crisis, you don’t know if it is over, you are looking for relief, the easiest question to ask is “Are we meant to be together?”, it will provide you with instant validation and relief if an advisor tells you “yes, you are”, and drive you perhaps to despair if an advisor answers “No, you are not.”
Better questions to ask are “What can I do (if anything) to improve the situation”, or “What are the core issues and root causes of our relationship issues”, or “What do I need to work on internally to better cope with this crisis”.
These are questions that can be answered with true advice that can help you to better choose as to whether or not this individual truly is right for you and deserves to be in the “ONE” position in your life, rather than just trying to validate that your suffering will be worth it in the long run.
So if you do call me, and you do ask me, “Are we meant to be together, is he/she the one?” I will tell you, again, I cannot in good conscience answer that question as I do not believe that there is any such thing as “The One”.
Do the Math!!!!
Brightest Blessings,
Brigid Bishop
Copyright © 2008 Brigid Bishop
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To Dream The Impossible Dream?
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Why Do People Cheat?
Surviving An Affair
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?
He Left His Wife, Now What?
When The One We Love Is With Someone Else
Independence, Codependence and Interdependence
The One, The Myth Exposed
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