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The One: The Myth Exposed

The ONE:  The Myth Exposed

The ONE.

"Are We Meant To Be Together?"

This question, more than any other question that is asked of me makes me very tense.  It bothers me because I do not subscribe to the idea or fantasy that there exists out there “The One”.

In my personal belief system, I just cannot buy into this particular myth.

Some people believe that a “Soul Mate” is “The One”, ugh, it rattles my cage when I hear of or read about people encouraging this fantasy in others.

This mindset leads people to pursuing relationships that won’t work and to holding on to relationships that don’t work, and frequently gets them obsessed with an ex.

There is no such thing as “The One”.  The Universe is not so cruel as to, in the 6,709,999,582 people who are on the earth, (as of 7/1/08), to only have ONE of these people be an appropriate loving and caring partner for YOU.

Statistically, if you were born on 7/1/08, that would give you a 0.0000000149031305856198000% Chance of finding someone to love!

Do you really believe that the odds are stacked that overwhelmingly against us here on Earth?

I don’t.

I believe that we have dozens, perhaps hundreds or thousands, of mortal counterparts that we can build a happy existence with.  Fate plays a hand to some degree, yes, fate being the geographic location of your existence, the personality you were born with, (whether you are an introvert or extrovert), the genetics that compose your outward appearance, how your parents raised you and thus how you are wired emotionally and psychologically and more, but I vehemently disregard that fate controls “who we are meant to be with”.

We CHOOSE who we are with (or not with and pining away after).

So when a client says to me, distraught over a crisis in their current love affair, "Are we meant to be together?" I have no choice but to say, “I cannot in good conscience answer that question as there is no such thing as “The ONE””.  This is frequently met with dead silence.

Yes, there may be a soul connection to this individual you love so much, yes, they may even be your “Soul Mate”, (Click HERE to gain understanding of what a Soul Mate actually is), but they are NOT the only “ONE” and it is not “Meant To BE” you must choose to MAKE IT BE!  And to top that off, they must also decide, hopefully concurrently, that they want you to be THEIR ONE.

So you’re relationship is in crisis, you don’t know if it is over, you are looking for relief, the easiest question to ask is “Are we meant to be together?”, it will provide you with instant validation and relief if an advisor tells you “yes, you are”, and drive you perhaps to despair if an advisor answers “No, you are not.”

Better questions to ask are “What can I do (if anything) to improve the situation”, or “What are the core issues and root causes of our relationship issues”, or “What do I need to work on internally to better cope with this crisis”.

These are questions that can be answered with true advice that can help you to better choose as to whether or not this individual truly is right for you and deserves to be in the “ONE” position in your life, rather than just trying to validate that your suffering will be worth it in the long run.

So if you do call me, and you do ask me, “Are we meant to be together, is he/she the one?” I will tell you, again, I cannot in good conscience answer that question as I do not believe that there is any such thing as “The One”.

Do the Math!!!!

Brightest Blessings,

Brigid Bishop

 

 

 Copyright © 2008 Brigid Bishop

.  This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

 

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Why Do People Cheat?

Surviving An Affair

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

He Left His Wife, Now What?

When The One We Love Is With Someone Else

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence

The One, The Myth Exposed

 

 

Visit Brigid Bishop

 

 

In my absence, if you are in need of an Advisor and do not have time to wait for an “Arranged Call”, please try one of the well-qualified Advisors in my group of personally recommended Readers:

 Brigid Bishop Recommends.

This Group of Readers is Invitation Only in order to maintain the integrity of the group.  All of these advisors are ethical and professional and I truly do recommend them highly.  I have had personal contact with all of them, they are not just random "picks" or "open to everyone" memberships, I do trust them and endorse them.

 

 

 

Published Monday, June 22, 2009 7:59 PM by Brigid Bishop
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Comments

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, July 14, 2008 12:31 PM by justaskdrdonna
i say that the person is the one for now or for this part of your lifes journey. i tell people that forever is a long time and it does not exist. people change. that scares some because they go into fear of losing the relationship before even having the relationship.

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, July 14, 2008 4:43 PM by Jon Constantine
"The one" is such a cop out. I get a little jittery when I hear the question, "When am I going to meet my soulmate?" Half of the time I wouldn't wish that on a person because if you have karma to work out it can be rough.

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, July 14, 2008 7:11 PM by Brigid Bishop
Thanks for the comments guys, yes, I agree, it's hard to dispell the fairy tale mindset that our culture has so infected our society with.

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, July 14, 2008 8:06 PM by Robin Richardson
Brigid,
I love that you provide better questions to ask.
Your insights are wise and tremendously helpful.
Thank you for posting them.
Robin

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, July 14, 2008 8:25 PM by Brigid Bishop
Thank you very much Robin, I truly appreciate the compliment.

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, July 14, 2008 11:41 PM by Rosalea
Dear Brigid:

This is a really interesting point of view and one I totally agree with.  I believe that each individual we cross paths with on this earth is a kindred spirit and one who we are to learn from.  The soulmate concept I think creates situations where people grieve forever for a relationship that was one sided. Thank you for presenting this topic in such a logical way.  Blessings Brigid and thanks for the interesting blog.

Rosie

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, July 14, 2008 11:46 PM by Brigid Bishop
Thanks Rosie!

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:02 AM by justaskdrdonna
society has made people feel like a failure for divorcing. that is why people stay too long in a marriage and end up having an affair.it is so sad but there is only judgement and no support when a person divorces. this is why people want to "get it right" and just meet "the one."

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:39 AM by Brigid Bishop
That's a very good point Dr. Donna!  I agree that fear of "getting it wrong" reinforces the psychologicaly need to find the mythical "One".

Thank you!

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# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Saturday, April 18, 2009 6:03 AM by SisterOthelia
I agree Brigid.  The term "Soul Mate" comes from Past Life belief.  If Past Life is one's belief....then one must also realize the theory goes, we have had many lives, therefore many "Soul Mates".  There is no promice we will come back as a human.  Past Life Belief also teaches we are all here to learn a Karmic lesson. So our Soul Mate just may be sitting in our lap in the form of a beloved cat, dog or horse. I agree. There are thousands of Soul Mates world wide for each of us.

# re: The One: The Myth Exposed

Monday, June 22, 2009 5:35 PM by Maoie
you should blog on the whole inner feelings thing that got you all worked up ;-)...xoxo

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