Friday, January 30, 2009 11:58 AM
Crystal of Light and Love 5
DIFFICULT TIMES BRING OUT DIFFICULT, BACK-STABBING PEOPLE
(Backstabbing pictures referenced from: Fotosearch.com/photos-images/back-stabbing)
DIFFICULT TIMES BRING OUT DIFFICULT, BACK-STABBING PEOPLE
Dear Crystal of Light and Love 5:
Hi. I am hoping you can give me some advice about backstabbing people. I helped a friend get hired to work with me and now she has been making my life miserable and taking my customers and she went behind my back and complained about me to the boss. Any ideas on how I should handle this situation Crystal of Light and Love 5? A
(Backstabbing pictures referenced from: Fotosearch.com/photos-images/back-stabbing)
Blessings A:
I know you had good intentions when it came to trying to help your friend get a job and now she's willing to walk all over you to get what she wants. When times get tough a lot of people get evil. Looking back on the situation now. It was a mistake trying to help your friend get a job with you. This was a casual friendship and not someone you really knew well. Nonetheless, what's done is done. Your friend is more ruthless than you are and that's why she's beating you out of your job. Some people are willing to crawl over your dead bones to get a bonus or a promotion. Be thankful your not like her and her own karma will come back on her and do her in eventually but it's time to put the devil in their place. You don't like confrontations but you must learn to master your emotions, write down your case and your points of concern, this will help you stay focused.
(Backstabbing pictures referenced from: Fotosearch.com/photos-images/back-stabbing)
You must hold her feet to the fire and prove your point. State the violation, clearly, unemotionally and specifically, write it down. Each charge. State the facts and try to stick to the facts. Know the store's policies and procedures. Rest assured that your friend will lie and squirm and try to turn the tables on you but act like your talking to a six year old child. Research the company's policies on conduct and behavior, job descriptions, violations and misconduct. You want to state your case clearly. She knows what she did was wrong. She's just being selfish and mean. She will continue to take advantage of you until you stand up to her, she's a bully.
(Backstabbing pictures referenced from: Fotosearch.com/photos-images/back-stabbing)
One of the reasons that some people want to talk trash about you is because it makes them feel good about themselves. Often people who are out to prove that your unworthy often feel unworthy themselves. Isn't that a hoot. Well, you can play on that indifference. Truth be told, that's why bad karma keeps coming upon bad people. They try to blame other people for their problems and make other people out to be a scapegoat for their ulterior motives ... ultimately they will try to say they are better than you ... that is a lie, they are not better than you. So stop the nonesense in it's tracks.
(Backstabbing pictures referenced from: Fotosearch.com/photos-images/back-stabbing)
You must stop apologizing and try to fight for the job that you say you love. You must be as up front and in her face as much as she is up front and in your face. Treat her like she treats you and don't be intimidated. She is playing rough with you because she thinks your a patsy, a pushover, someone easily bullied or manipulated. Prove to her your not. The next time, she crosses the line, walk up to her and tap her on her shoulder and say ... "I've got this. Thank you, I'll take it from here." Be polite, professional but stand up for yourself.
(Backstabbing pictures referenced from: Fotosearch.com/photos-images/back-stabbing)
Explain to your boss that exactly what she has been doing. Getting a clear understanding with a boss or supervisor can create a valuable ally later on. Llist her job description as to things she should be doing and what your job description is. By listing the stores policy and the job description, you get the store on your side early on but you want to be right so talk to a manager or supervisor to verify that you are right before the meeting. Specificly state that she is infringing on your space when you are there. However, if you were to walk up to her and tap her aside, you could settle it easily by just doing that. Get your boss on your side and if you really love your job ... fight to keep it. You were there first and it is not easy but your being "punked" and you've got to learn to stand up to bullies and claim and keep what is yours. She has challenged you to a duel, either leave your job with your tail between your legs ... or ... butch up ... fight back.
(Backstabbing pictures referenced from: Fotosearch.com/photos-images/back-stabbing)
You can say anything you need to say ... just say it nicely and you can even smile while your saying it. Be professional and under control. You can win. Yet you firmly say, when I am in the room and I have a customer, you look around the room to be sure that I'm not standing ... right behind you! If you don't see me, I'll tap you on the shoulder and let you know that I am there and you can step aside and I'll manage my customers and you can manage yours.
DON'T LET BULLIES PUSH YOU AROUND ... IF YOU KNOW YOUR RIGHT ... STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. IF YOU DON'T SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF ... WHO WILL SPEAK UP FOR YOU?
Crystal of Light and Love 5
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Have faith and hope, because there is something positive and new on the horizon that you can't yet see.
Crystal of Light and Love 5
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