Why do some women desire to marry and some women don't? Many have wondered why that pretty good looking woman in the neighborhood is alone and often try to set her up with someone.
Here's one woman's blatant, honest, heart felt expression of why she prefers to be alone:
Ms. S. B.
When others find that I am not in a relationship, eyebrows raise. When they realize that I am not interested in one, jaws often drop. I'm sure that some of these people question what is wrong with me, but it really doesn't bother me...much. I'm not against love and marriage, in fact, I'm all for it, especially if it is solid and true. Too many relationships are built upon a shaky foundation, at best. There is a terrible misconception that society teaches about what happens when we grow up. It is almost human nature to go through the motions, as I like to refer to it. What I mean by this is that we all go through basically the same phases in life; childhood, then our school years, high school, dating, perhaps college, career's, and marriage, children ... well ... maybe not in that order. What if we don't want marriage? Believe it or not, it is not a goal that I share with others. I never have, actually. I'm not saying that I won't ever, but at this point in my life, I am comfortable in my position. I don't even have enough time to devote to myself, so it would be quite unfair to begin a relationship and make someone else suffer through a time restraint.
There are so many reasons why I prefer to be alone. Is it because I have been hurt? Not really, we've all been through the ringer. Is it because I am afraid? Nope, I am emotionally fearless, I think. Is it because I can't find anyone to suit my needs? Partly, but then I am a bit picky. I've seen lots of men but never really found that special someone that I feel good about. Let's be honest, any woman who will settle for a relationship that is beneath her is a woman in trouble. There are many reasons that I don't want a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I won't go as far as proclaiming that I will never have the desire to marry and have a couple of babies, but in my mind's eye, I have never gotten past no on that subject. For as far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be the successful, cool aunt that bought all the best presents at birthdays and holidays. The sophisticated career woman with the gorgeous house and all of the latest material possessions. I never once pictured myself married, or having children. I guess I just got a late start in life when it comes to falling in loving and meeting Mr. Romantic. I'm not disappointed in my life, I'm happy ... there's always room for improvement but most of the time, I'm pretty content and I have my peace of mind.
Perhaps I am selfish. I really am, but also, I am giving, loving, funny, clever, smart, pretty, friendly, generous, and a ton of fun. But I am selfish, as well. I want what I want, and right when I want it. I am prone to gluttony, pride, and sloth. My friends at work call me over-confident (they changed it from conceited when I whined that I most certainly was not!). But I will be the first to admit my flaws, and I do. But I will be the first person to point out my positive attributes. I do not feel equipped to handle the responsibilities, nor the stress of a serious relationship, let alone children, at least at this point in my life. I haven't even met someone that I feel really good about yet.
I don't want a relationship, because, if I married now I would not be marrying for love, I would be "settling" for something I don't really want. I don't waste my time on meaningless relationships. I don't have time to devote to someone else, at least not right now, and it would be unfair of me to lead a man on for nothing. I don't want to have to answer to anyone, for anything in my personal life. I want to go where I please, and when and with whom I please without question. And I don't want to be judged on what I do on my own personal time. If I want to sit and lounge all day watching TV or movies, or read a book while in my jammies, I want to do it in peace. I just think that we should all do what we want, and live by our own principles, instead of the ideas that society has imposed upon us. It's like we are born with an agenda, and most people just go with the flow, and some people just 'settle'.
A little advice for those who doubt these 'loner women'. We don't like to be 'fixed up', with your nephew or your neighbor or your uncle. We are not 'players'. We are not 'prudes'. We are not 'jealous' of your functioning relationship, nor are we after your man. Just because we are single, does not mean we enjoy being hit on by every loser that tries to hand us a lame line. Just because we come alone to the bar (with coupled friends) does not mean you have the right to assume we must or want to dance with you. Be a gentleman, every girl likes that.
It is entirely possible that this article will bite me in the a** in five years or so, and that's fine, human kind is built to evolve, until then, I stand my ground. But right now, I am not only comfortable with my life, but happy, and very proud of my accomplishments thus far. I still have a hefty set of goals for myself, and until I am satisfied with what I have done for myself I might consider looking for a mate. I might meet the man of my dreams tomorrow if it is meant to be. But, a dark haired, blue eyed, handsome, distinguished man is already hard to find, so perhaps my soul mate lives on another plane.
In the meantime, my terrific friends, my loving family, and my great job and my bubbling personality will have to suffice. Because in my mind the pro's do not outweigh the cons of a relationship. I do not begrudge any one else happiness in love, though, God grant you a wonderful love, if that is what you desire. While he's handing out blessings, he can grant me a good love, too. Right now, I am pretty okay with 'being alone'. It is my choice, and I am glad that I made it, at least for right now. Sometimes it isn't because we "can't get a man", we might just have too much self respect to settle for the man that wants us when we know that their attention is not honest, loving or invited.
Some women just want to be alone with the happiness that they were able to find or create on their own. There's nothing wrong with being alone ... because being alone and being lonely are two different things. Everyone deals with some sense of loneliness on some level. Having a positive, healthy and happy disposition on life is a treasure not easily found.
Crystal of Light and Love
Love & Relationships
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The angels have a modus operandi for your love life and happiness. Keep the faith. Call me for any concerns that you have: Love & Relationships, Mysteries, Dreams, Career or Life Questions.
Have faith and hope, because there is something positive and new on the horizon that you can't yet see.
Crystal of Light and Love