It's Not About Romantic Love
If life was just about love, how simple it would be. Every relationship is a life lesson and that is what it is truly about. Lessons sound dull and boring and they are until you understand why you are in this lesson. Is it to honor self better? Respect another's boundaries better? Or have you let your own boundaries slip so far they are now invisible? Are you so needy that others hide and cringe at the thought of being with you? Do you take care of you when in a crisis? How long does your crisis last? Have you had a similar crisis before? Do you go into deep hiding during a love crisis or call everyone you know to complain? In this crisis are you neglecting your job, home, friends or other important things like paying bills on time? Are you suicidal or do you have those thoughts of wishing a meteor would drop out of the sky and crush you? Do you cry all the time and try to hide the evidence of your tears? Is depression your long term companion? Do you wistfully think about when things were happier? Do you think all your problems would be solved if only this or that event would happen?
When another person becomes more important than you and that experience or event controls your happiness..... that's a huge danger sign. When another is more important than your own sense of self and integrity that's a huge danger sign. When you find yourself thinking and doing things that you are ashamed of, another danger sign. When tempted to dwell, manipulate, or stalk another person, another huge danger sign. What's the lesson? To love you and God who is within you. To take care of you as carefully as you take care of others things in your life.
What can you do? Take baby steps back to life. Get stubborn, resist the negative thoughts that sneak into your mind. Examine them for TRUTH, not the fear you have imbedded them with. If a friend offered you a platter of sushi, casually mentioning it had been on the counter for 3 days you would be appalled and ask this friend if they knew it could make you sick. You would not eat it. Think of your scary thoughts the way you would think of spoiled sushi, they are making you sick. The best thing I have found to control those scary thoughts is a book. "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. It is so simple, so easy to read and do. It is quite entertaining as well. It is not so much a 'self help' book as it is a reality check book. It makes you laugh at your own thoughts and best of all you have PEACE afterwards.