Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve shared some tips with you for getting the most benefit from your Tarot reading. Today’s post will look at two useful approaches for framing your questions: focusing on yourself, and staying neutral.

·         Focus On Yourself

This one is oh-so-easy to forget! We want to know about “the guy” or “the girl”, our kids, spouse, boss, coworkers etc. that we become focused them. We want to know all about what they’re feeling, thinking and doing, but we take ourselves out of the picture.   

When you get a reading, you are always the central character. Your question should focus on you, your concerns and options. There are times when questions about others are fine. However, while focusing on another person’s problems, concerns or even behaviors may give you some information and insight, beyond that it is not particularly useful since you cannot make another’s choices or live another’s life for him/her.  

Here are some examples: Instead of asking, “What is behind Tom's drinking problem?” or “How can I assist Tom with his drinking problem?”

Consider this: “What role do I play in Tom's drinking problem? “

The first question focuses totally on Tom and his problem. In the second question, the questioner is included, but the attention is still on Tom. The third question is best because it is grounded solidly in the questioner's own experience – and the guidance that comes through can assist the questioner in terms of his/her own thoughts, feelings, behaviors and potential actions.

·         Stay Neutral

This one is often a challenge! We are emotionally involved – sometimes upset, confused or hurting when we seek guidance from a reading. It’s our life; our relationships, our home or work environment that we’re seeking answers about. If we’re in a highly-charged emotional state or in a highly-polarized state (I’m right and everyone else is wrong), it’s difficult to get clear guidance and calm ourselves enough to consider fresh perspectives.

Take a deep, cleansing breath, dry your tears (cry them if you need to, but dry them!), steady your nerves and wait until anger or fear have subsided enough so that you can stay as neutral as possible when framing your questions. It is easy to begin a reading convinced that your position is the right one, or so emotionally distraught that you’re in turmoil but if you truly want to receive guidance, you need to be open to other points of view, and relatively calm. Consider these sets of questions:

Why won’t my boyfriend (girlfriend) talk to me?

How can I improve communication in my relationship?

 

Why am I the only one doing chores?

How can I foster a spirit of cooperation concerning the chores?

 

How can I make people listen when I'm talking?

What is going on when I try to communicate, but feel others aren't listening?

 

How can I make my boss stop asking me to work overtime?

Why have I had to work so much overtime recently?

 

In the first questions, the questioner feels his/her position is the correct one - others are not getting with the program! When questions center around people and situations that have hit our emotional “hot buttons”, we need to relax and calm ourselves enough to find real solutions. The second questions are more neutral and open-ended; they’re the most likely to provide the assistance and answers we’re seeking.

I’m here to help you get the very best reading possible – let’s pose the questions and find the answers together.

Love and peace,

Dona

Destiny Tarot® Copyright 2007 by Dona C. Murphy. All rights reserved.