Don't Panic! How To "Sit" With Your Reading
This is a topic that has been expressed in different ways, and I've seen this in each and every one of my customers recently (albeit in new and improved versions of this same age old concept). For the past several months, "The Secret" has been slowly threaded into our minds and hearts via Oprah, our spiritual mentors, books, message boards, psychic development websites, and much more. It's not a new concept, it's something I've discussed with each and every one of you, my customers, from day one. YOU and only you, control your future-- no, not your psychic, your spiritual guide, your mentor, your counselor, your life coach, your boss, your loved one or soulmate, but you and you alone!
This can be quite an overwhelming concept, right? The nature of all psychic websites denotes just the opposite. We see headlines like, "100% Accurate Master Psychic! Reunites soulmates! Let me change your life!" on almost every page of any psychic website. I am here to tell you just the opposite of everything you've known about the psychic industry, and all of the misconceptions. Read on if you dare, because this concept is not very easy to put into your mind once you fall into a spot of spiritual enablement.
Here is a real life example, given to me by a dear client and friend of mine, with her permission. I've changed the names to protect her privacy. Cheron began calling me back in 2004, with a concern about a man she was in love with, Charles. Charles, was in and out of her life. They had met on a dating site with which we are all familiar, he had all but promised life-long love and devotion, and they were traveling back and forth between New Jersey and Louisiana (his home state and hers) to visit and become closer. He had "job- related issues" and as most men are, he was "getting over his ex". You all know the story from here.
He implies (not asks) that she should move closer to him, because if she moved closer, it would be easier for him to get over the ex and easier for him to be in love again and be in a relationship. He used the long distance as an excuse to not always call on time, to stay emotionally distant from time to time, and to generally keep her at bay emotionally. The moment he began to distance himself was when I met Cheron. She called me in a time of panic.
The summary of the first few sessions went as follows:
A) Cheron-- Does he love me? Why does he do this to me? Why is he backing up? What do I do? Do I call? Do I email? Do I initiate the efforts, or wait? Do I wait on him, or give up? Is he a soulmate? Is he the one? Will we marry? How about kids? (goes on and on..)
B) Pamela-- Yes, he loves you but in the way he knows how, which differs from your idea of love. He does this because he is not ready for a relationship, but is very torn because he does love YOU as a person. He is backing up because he isn't ready for commitment, but doesn't want to lose you either, hence the times when he comes back around to you. He also backs up because he feels you reaching a bit more than he was accustomed to...therefore, please allow HIM to contact at almost all periods of time unless your own intuition dictates otherwise.
No do not wait...but not don't give up. Bridge the gap between waiting and giving up..find a middle ground. Yes he is a soulmate, but no I do not believe there is just ONE person for any other person, but many soulmates. I am not sure if you will marry, and I cannot see far enough into the future to know if you will have children, but I am sure that this depends upon you. If you want him, back up. Let him do the work.
What occured after this, you ask? Cheron PANICKED. Once I told her that he was having some second thoughts based upon his fears of commitment, and that he was not ready, she panicked. Once she was told that SHE was the person in control of her future, she didn't quite know what to do with this information. She didn't trust herself. "What if Pamela is wrong", she thought. Let me call and confirm with another psychic (and another, and 'Oh wait, let's try this one that's new only because I'd like a different opinion from a different type of readers, and wait this one is only .99 cents per minute, so it can't hurt, and this one remote views, now that's different'). Perhaps there is something missing here. Ten psychics and about five grand later, Cheron returned to me. And here is a brief summary of the next several sessions, which encompassed about three years worth of her life:
1) Cheron-- Something is really wrong Pamela. I listened to Spirit, I moved to Louisiana. I hate it here. Charles downright ignores me. He frequently visits and we connect, but then he disappears to "go fishing" and I don't hear from him for days, sometimes WEEKS on end. I don't get it. What am I doing wrong? He wanted me here, I am here. The long distance problem is solved. He says it's not another woman. He says I am wonderful. He still says he needs to go slowly and is not ready. I just don't get it, Pamela!"
2) Pamela-- Cheron, yes something is wrong. You have to listen to yourself, not just me. If he says he is not ready, let him not be ready, and slowly begin to let him go. Date other men if you want, be more involved in your own passions in life, don't hold on, but don't let go. Yes, I know that's hard. But I also know you can do this. Cheron....there is another woman. I don't mean to tell you this, and I saw him flirting with her a bit here and there prior to your move, but now it seems that she is there more seriously. You might better confront him more directly at least by letting him know that you only want to date men who want to date you and you alone. Also, please don't contact him anymore..NO MATTER WHAT. Don't contact unless you just heard his mother passed away or something, okay?
3) Cheron-- Pamela, I just cannot believe that about the other woman. No other psychic sees it either, are you sure? If he really was disinterested, why does he keep coming over? Why does he connect and run? What do I do?
4) Pamela-- Cheron, you have to find a bridge here between letting go and waiting. Don't hold on, slowly date, don't reach out. Let him do all the work (I am sure many of you have heard me say this so often). If you don't listen to me AND to Spirit, which I am sure is telling you the same thing when your head hits the pillow at night, he will back off, he will get more serious with the other girl, and things just get worse...
5) Cheron-- PAMELA! I've found out about the other girl! Oh my gosh, I am sorry I didn't believe you, and I am sorry it's been two whole months since I've called you. I've called him and tried to reach out more than I should, and he is backing up even more!!! What do I do??? I've called a dozen psychics, I'm in debt out the wazoo, and none of them saw this?!
Do any of you recognize where this is going? Do any of you see yourselves in this example? My point in this sharing of my client's experience, is that you have the power to change your future! You do! I share with you what the future shows, which can change JUST BY ME SHARING IT WITH YOU. Please listen, not to me, but to what your Higher Power is telling you to do (and what not to do, as shown by Cheron) so that you can take the power in your own hands. At this point, the future is YOURS! The path to the future is like a blueprint to follow. Spirit is there with you, your psychics are there with you every step of the way to keep you on track (since following your intuition can be akin to driving from New Jersey to Louisiana in the dark with only a single flashlight to guide your way).
Here are some quotes from Cheron to help you understand more about readings, the future, and how to empower yourself so that you have control over your path:
1) "People should not be so quick to leave feedback. The validity of a reading really does prove itself over time, and with the person's willingness to not derail the progress".
2) "When someone asks, 'What do you see happening with me and x,' the reading provided reaches well out into the distance, but the client doesn't always know that. So if they are impatient, or exceedingly willful...what do they do? They go sashaying in to hurry up the process. And what they wind up doing is upsetting the natural evolution of things and what they want drifts further out. And hence, a longer wait."
3) "I can go back to things you and another psychic especially said to me well over a year ago, that TODAY are in perfect alignment with the progression of things. Had I not taken notes, or journaled? I might have been one of those people to call you one day all deluded and upset saying, "this was NOT the way you told me my story was going to end!!!"
Well...who said it was the end? All you provided was the chapter in an ongoing tale, you never said which page. I'll admit...when I first up and moved I was convinced (after my world "blew up") that I had it wrong. That you had it wrong. But then I went back to your notes (nearly five months prior) and reviewed what you said. You said it was a good thing I was doing. That it would be hard. It would be painful, but it was necessary. The time had come, I'd see some things that I'd have to deal with.
As the song goes, "I never promised you a rose garden..." You and I have known for sometime...how my story ends. You just have to know where you are in the tale, have faith, take copious notes and remember that there is more to life than just one moment. Each event has bearing on what's to come.
You and the two other psychics I trust-- your readings tell a story (a long one) that is very accurate and doesn't hold all the twists and turns on the road. You each answered my question. The point is...know what you're asking, know that timelines are never concrete, and take copious notes. Sometimes it's not the other person who has stuff to learn. Sometimes, it's you. "
Here are some things to help you sit with your reading, to still your mind and heart, to keep you from panicking, and to help you understand the spiritual "process":
1) Know that each reading is just a glimpse into the future. For me, I read upwards of a year (but rarely longer than 1.5 years unless the connection is STRONG), and my final outcomes normally stay the same. Know that if I have told you something will happen in the future, chances are IT WILL STILL HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT.
2) The only way the future changes is if YOU change it. If I see a projection of what Spirit wants to happen in your life, i.e. YOUR FUTURE PATH, that is going to be that. Not much changes that, EXCEPT YOU! Here are some ways you can change a concrete prediction I've given you:
a) Doing the opposite of what Spirit guided you to do in your session with me. For example, if I tell you not to dwell on things, to let someone go, to get into a passionate hobby in your life and energetically put yourself in a different place, PLEASE DO SO. Calling him when Spirit has clearly instructed for you not to do so, does push the timeframe of your prediction further into the future. This only makes the wait longer and more difficult. I don't say "don't call" so as to make things harder on you. I say "don't call" when Spirit has instructed you to do so, because it is emotionally in your better interests and because it helps with your desired outcome.
b) If I tell you to do something hard, like call someone you would rather not, and you DO what Spirit says, you will be pleasantly surprised. For example, I once suggested to a client of mine to apologize about something. She initially refused, because she was not the one in the wrong. A person who was a tad bit jealous of her and mean-spirited by nature, was all but stalking her, and had even set out to ruin her business! She didn't understand why Spirit would suggest this, through my reading. She listened and she apologized, not with her words, but with her actions. Her humble apology defused the jealous energy of the stalker, the stalker lost interest, and moved onto her next prey. My client was relieved!
3) If I've given you an outcome that takes longer than a year, "WAITING" on that outcome is generally not what Spirit wants you to do. The safer thing to do would be to understand your connection with the person, delve deeply into yourself to understand your reasons for wanting to wait on someone who is not logically available to you at this time, heal, rejuvinate, throw yourself into other passions in your life, and generally, find a way to move on. If the future is meant to be, it will be. You waiting puts the energy in a stagnant place-- this is not good for you, the other person in question, or the timeframe of your prediction.
4) Don't panick! If you feel a reader said something out of alignment with what you intuitively feel within yourself, write to the reader to clarify what she meant. Sometimes, as I've stated in a recent email bulletin, it's easy to misunderstand what the reader means. I recently had a session with a client who called me with only a couple of minutes worth of time to spare. She talked the majority of the time, because she was a little afraid of the future, and finally when she got to her question, keen cut us off (so that she could add more money) right during a very important part of the reading. She heard, "No he is not coming back right now because ____, but if you ______ then it could get better and this would speed up your timeframe. However, if you ______" (insert annoying keen-interrupting-bell-thingie-here). BEEEEEP- "You're out of money. Would you like to add more money or end your call at this time. My client was hurt, frustrated and angry. She ended the call. The feedback she left me at that time proved to me that she had thoroughly misunderstood what I said.
5) Calm down. Energy readers (aura readers and empaths) cannot read past anger very well. Yes, we know you've spent and invested a lot of time, emotion and money into us. We still...are not responsible for your future. We still only can provide the future based upon how we see it at any given point in time when you call us. We know that if we do not tell you something rosy and wonderful, that you will (if you are upset) potentially hang up and proceed to the next psychic who will do so. Please...calm down. Slow down. Consider your heart. Consider your wallet. Stop calling psychics for awhile. YOU are in control of your future, even when you do not feel like it.
6) If nothing is happening, LET HIM GO. I repeat-- LET HIM GO. There are many general and detailed reasons why the person you love may be avoiding you. The reasons don't matter. It is not in your best interests to wait, dwell, cry over someone, etc., unless you have very good reason. Him being your soulmate, is simply not reason enough. Him being deployed to another country, is reason enough for you to wait or worry. His mother being on her deathbed-- that is a reason that might be understandable. If a man or woman in your life is not talking to you for 3 plus months, and there is no reason that is worthy, it might be because he's "Just Not That Into You". (This is a book title and it's not for the weak at heart).
7) As per the above, sadly enough, we often have soulmates who are not ready to be with us. Yes, I've been there. You have, too. Often times, we are shown all the signs that he/she is a soulmate, we wait, we are told wonderful predictions, and nothing ever happens. There are many variables and reasons why. But many times, there are no reasons why. Sometime, the most simple answer is: there is no answer. He/she is not into it, and that is that.
8) If you know for a matter of FACT (via the person's actions and words) that he/she IS indeed "into you", and nothing is happening, it is STILL time to try and move on, if even temporarily, until you can see and prove more present action from your soul connection. Sometimes the reason is not "he's not into you", but one of the following:
a) He is not ready to feel love for another person. Yes, I know that the books say this is not so. Well, it is in some circumstances. Sometimes, the person may be getting over another relationship, coming out of another relationship, or heavin forbid, STILL in a relationship. This is your cue to BACK UP-- WAYYYY BACK.
b) He has extenuating circumstances such as health, a job in another state or country, a family illness, a deployment, etc., that are holding him back. You cannot fault him for this. If you love him, be patient. Find a middle ground between letting go and holding on. Do NOT give up your love for him if he is trying, but cannot control these circumstances. Time will prove itself! Just don't dwell.
c) He might be VERY into you, but YOU might not be the person who is ready for love. Yes, indeed, it really might be YOU. I had a client just last month say, "You know what? I've told him I am not ready for a commitment, so what is he afraid of?" The answer is--he is afraid of YOU! He probably does indeed want a commitment, and if he is into you, and you suddenly make it loud and clear that you "just want to have fun", what message does this send. Know what you want. Say what you want. Let your actions dictate as such.
Again, I hope this blog helps you to sit still in the knowingness within your heart. If you're upset, put down the phone. It's a waste of time and money to call a new reader when upset. It's a waste of time and money to call ME if you and I have not spoken in several months, when you're upset. Sit STILL, and know. Give the calling a rest. Call only when ready to begin creating your own future.
With warmest love,
Pamela Aaralyn (DivineDimension)