Don't Lie to me.... The Mirror Does not Lie
Have
you Learned to be Honest with YOURself? Have you learned to look in the
mirror and be honest ? It is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
Boy is that a hard thing to do
in a relationship context. Are you having to work too hard to make the relationship
happen?
Is there panic after you have seen him and now you do not have
plans to see him again?
Do you panic when you call him and he does not
pick up?
Do you call and keep calling if he does not pick up right
away?
Do you have to manipulate things to get to see him? Are
you being honest with yourself about what you want in this?
Are you
settling for crumbs?
All of that activity increases focus on a
situation, it increases panic, it increases the tension which people
can pick up and while they might not be able to put their finger on
what the tension is it can make people uncomfortable and make them pull
back. Is any relationship worth selling yourself out for ? Worth
settling? Worth your own self esteem? Believe you me it will cost you
in the long term.
Try to just let it be, try not
to allow that panicked feeling to affect you, it is not normally the
reality of the situation and try to have faith that if you just leave
it alone that the person will seek you out, will put the effort and
energy into the relationship. If you have to insinuate yourself into
the life of someone then it is not an equal partnership, it is not
reciprocal, and you are training them badly that if they just passive
agressively go along with you as long as it suits them to do so. And
that pattern will continue and the longer it goes on ( you doing all
the work and your resentment building because you are doing all the
work) the harder that pattern is to break.
Like an older brother of mine
once said *I'm just a boy who can't say No!* SO if you do all the work,
they can just sit back and allow it to happen without taking
responsibility for anything....because they CAN and we allow it...
There is no shame in admitting
this to yourself, there is shame in allowing it to continue and the
price you end up paying is expensive on your soul because you KNOW that
you are selling yourself short.
You do not even have to admit
this to anyone else because you might not be ready to but admitting it
to yourself is the first step and that first step is the most important
one....
Joan