Easy to SAY, hard to DO....
The theory about us teaching people how to treat us is one that is
easier to say and so hard to put into practice in our lives...
So basically IF you want a person you are dating to be the one to call
you, as opposed to you being the one that does all the calling; that
theory put into action says that you should not always be the one to
call first. As IF you DO (call all the time, or most of the time before they do ) it teaches them that
YOU are OKAY with being the one to call and then you get angry at them for not calling? You NEED to understand that the other person MAY in fact think you are in tacit acceptance of that arrangement since you went along with it............until you decided not to. Changing the rules in the middle of the game.....is a hard thing to do...but it CAN be done...
IF there is an issue (argument, disagreement, problem etc..) it cannot always be
YOU that calls afterwords. AS if you have told them NOT to call you (
in ANGER) or told them (in ANGER) that it was over and then you expect them to read YOUR mind and call YOU? May not have understood that and not KNOW what you want..... so hold the drama, it rarely works......so if you want to be taken seriously avoid it at all costs...
So it is up to YOU to show the person you are involved with that you wish to be treated with respect, that you want a reciprocal relationship, one where you are willing to work at it, and expect them to also....
This also goes for friendships, we teach others how to treat us, and that can and does need to work both ways, in order to have a friend, you have to BE a friend. That means that if you expect others to be there for you, you may at times need to be there for them...so it is at least reciprocal, that is not always possible to achieve, however it can be done...
Joan
Comment Notification
Subscribe to this post's comments using