When Insults Had Class
These glorious insults are from an era before the English
language got boiled
down to 4-letter words.
I hope they do not offend....:-)
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,
"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had
delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the
vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many
obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence
Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that
might send a reader to the dictionary." - William
Faulkner (about Ernest
Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll
waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice
letter saying I approved of it." - Mark
Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by
his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my
new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George
Bernard Shaw to
Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like
having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his
creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope
it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of
dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run
up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she
always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to
him." - Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope
without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the
stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others,
whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew
Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy
Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.
But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx