I find more and more.....
that people are using manipulation to get what they want from others...
They use whatever they have in their arsenal. They do not even see
themselves as manipulators....they lie to themselves and their loved
ones to skillfully get what they want from the relationship regardless
of what the other person wants...or is capable of giving at the time....that does not matter when it is not their own agenda....
We take liberties with the truth to make people feel sorry for us...
We need to try to accept people as they are....as opposed to how we would like them to be...
We need to not use their feelings for us against them so that we get what we want.
We need to not use any weapons we have at our disposal, with-holding intimacy or sex from them to get what we want.
We need to not use others by involving them in our situation, so that we can find out what they are thinking, that is simply wrong and most of the time, they WILL find out.....and may not care for being used.
We need to not use our children to manipulate in a divorce situation. It will come back to haunt us in so many ways in the long term scheme of things as children are not stupid in any way and they know who is being real even if it takes them a while...
People lie online to misrepresent themselves....those lies will come back to haunt them too, most lies come back to haunt us and we will be exposed even if we think we will not.
Let's be honest, it hurts when things go south, sometimes they can be salvaged...and sometimes they cannot.....
Calling them when they have asked for a break to tell them you have a problem is not kosher, it's an attempt to pull them back in, and then we get our feelings hurt if they do not respond....but most of the time they know what we are up to.... do you want to be seen as a vacuum of need? where is your pride? sense of self? Are you willing to compromise your sense of self to get someone back? Is that part of your true worth? Most of the time it decreases your self value, so be aware of the expensive price to be paid when we try to manipulate.....
However if we use manipulation to achieve our own agenda regardless of what the other wants, that too WILL come back to haunt us....so remember that....and be honest with yourself first and then others, it makes for better relationships..
Joan
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