I hope I never receive one of these......
Please forgive me if I offend with these actual Employee Evaluations, They do not offend my sick sense of humor but I sure would not want to be evaluated like this in any job...
For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse.* These are actual quotes taken from employee performance evaluations.
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached
rock-bottom and has started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but
more of a definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap."
5. "When he*opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to
change feet."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an
idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts
the better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold
it all together."
11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19.. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
he's the other one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued
on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22.* "Donated his brain to science before he was done using
it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming."
24.* "He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is
out looking for it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered
twice a week."
26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get
change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other
sperm."
29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink*from the fountain of knowledge; he only
gargled."
31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."
32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
.AOLWebSuite .AOLPicturesFullSizeLink { height: 1px; width: 1px; overflow: hidden; }