It ain't easy....
There are times when we are more self absorbed than others. In issues of love we can be more than in other matters. The heart wants what the heart wants and most of the time is not prepared to wait for it. And if another relationship is in our way? We resent the partner, we blame them, when there is blame all around. We don't care, we want that person in our lives NOW!! We want them to leave their wife or husband for us, and we want to KNOW when the relationship that stands in our way will end, but for me wishing to have another relationship end so WE can have a person is not a good thing. It cannot be good karma, to be wishing unhappiness on another so that we can have them.....surely not?
I feel there is a difference between unhappy and unhappy enough to leave and there are usually so many complications for that to occur. And there is much to be achieved between the talking about leaving and the leaving. The person who wants to leave is there way before the one they are breaking the news to. And how to get there from where they are now is also hard. There is division or property, money, kids usually. All complicated enough without the BIG one ( emotion ) being involved. And it is not an instant matter, nor should it be. There are promises made all the time that are not kept. There are hearts broken every day, such is life. It sure aint easy when love comes to town, and what we think we want is not always what we do want.The harder someone is to get or the more unavailable someone is can make them seem better than they really are. And secrets at the beginning of a relationship are usually red flags and we do so love to ignore them.....
It ain't easy, love is complicated enough without a third wheel..... but like they say in Ireland, what's for you, won't pass you by. We may not think we always choose someone who is unavailable (either emotionally or physically) but at times that is what happens. Try to be aware if there is a pattern of that and how you may in fact be contributing to that. And riding out the storm until they are available or accepting when they are not available, or what they can or could give us may be hard. Acceptance may be key, but it sure ain't easy. But knowing your deal breakers and what you Do want is most important to start with.... Hopefully that can be achieved without wishing harm upon another relationship. It's just simply bad karma in my book, even if it is human and raw emotion.
Like I always say....when love comes in the front door, common sense has gone out the window :-)
joan