Let's say....
you want to know when things are going to change? Well to be honest, that kind of question is not just an issue of when the other person involved in the equation is going to change as most of the time people do not change without the motivation to change. And no this is not a *free will* issue. This is simple common sense.. as say for example you have a job for which you can get away with only working two hours and day and you get paid for eight, where is your motivation to put in those extra six hours? Why on earth would you do that if you can get away with only doing the minimum? And receive all the benefits as if you were putting in a full day?? Where is the motivation for change?
If you are in a relationship and the person you are involved with is a full participant in effort at the beginning and he/she tails off and you continue as if he/she was still fully participating in the relationship, they have fallen into the two hour works day pattern and unless you allow them to step up, they may lack the motivation to do so. Even passive agressive people can and will step up if they want the relationship enough and if you do not allow fear to rule your behavior and step back in order to motivate them to reciprocate and have the balance of effort be more even. So the when question is when will someone change? The answer does not always simply depend on one side of the equation...
joan