Saying what we mean, meaning what we say.....
If we want to be taken seriously, we must stay away from DRAMA, and not make silly threats towards the person we are involved with to get them to do what we want to..... whatever that may be ( calling us more, keeping their word, whatever the behavior we wish to change). I always tell my children, that it really stinks when we cannot control others and make them do what we want them to do. But that is never possible to control others, and that's hard to accept when we have emotional feelings invested. :-)
The bigger the drama, the less we are taken seriously. The louder the voice, the less we are heard. The more words, the less that we are listened to. We have to pick our times to talk, we have to ask the person we want to talk to IF they are ready to talk....and take it from there.....
People tell the person they are involved with that they never want to see them again and then call to find out when they will call???????? Why would ANYONE want to call you if you have told them in no uncertain terms, * I NEVER want to see you again!!??!!??* So they wait to make that call, creating panic in the drama king/queen waiting for that call, but they avoid it thinking that we will start another dramatic episode.... who needs a soap opera in their lives when they can look at it on tv and not have to participate in it??
Yes, it can be hard navigating the crossroads we all have to go through to get to commited relationship part but emotional blackmail, and manipulation will never pay off even if it looks like it for that moment..... We cannot expect the person we are involved with to not see others if you have not agreed to be exclusive, even if that hurts us, again we cannot control the actions of others, we can only control ourselves...
Joan