Silent Relationship Killers........
There are many reasons that small issues that can cause BIG problems in relationships. One of the major ones is insecurity in one or other of the partners. Insecurity can cause so many problems that can be minor in details, become so much bigger. It can cause a small problem to become so large that it is unfixable. Like one of my favorite books says, Some people do not have relationships, they take hostages.......
If you have secret anger or bitterness towards your partner, then do not hide it! Make him or her aware of your feelings and decide if you're able to forgive and forget. If you can't let them know what is bothering you and do so in an undramatic manner, ( men stop listening as soon as the drama button is pushed) it's probably better to get out of the relationship rather than stay and be miserable and engage in passive agressive behavior such as cheating because you are not getting your needs met or Like Dr Phil says, is it better to be right or happy? I have learned to choose the happy option.....
Other people keep their feelings hidden, thinking "better to break their heart before they can break mine." Self-esteem and trust issues this extreme may require help and support outside the two of you. If you are leaning towards ending the relationship, ask if you are ready to make that step? Can you walk away without working out the issues? Ask yourself if they are they deal breakers? Have you been reasonable in your expectations? Have you told the other person what you expected? Or do you expect him to read your mind? Sometimes thinking about things in an unemotional manner can make what we were so worked up about seem trivial.....
If you want to protect your relationship, you must first work hard to protect your relationship from the silent killers - such as jealousy, not a pretty emotion, not to mention low self esteem, bitterness and mistrust. They are all close relatives, one causes the other and so on. The only way to do this is through honest communication. Reveal your true emotions and needs to your partner and encourage him to do the same.
You have to have the ability to see things from the perspective of the other person, I know how difficult that can be, when there is an issue that neither can see from the side of the other, you have to realize that there are two valid sides and perspectives and if you expect the person you are involved with to see things from your point of view, you have to make that valiant effort to see it from theirs. It's never going to be black and white,. relationships are various shades of grey....
Having said all of that........ one cannot expect that kind of communication to happen over night nor should one push it too soon....
Joan