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Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

The Vacuum of Need............
We all have one...
We all use it...
In our friendships...
In our relationships...
We may be blissfully unaware of it at times....but I can guarantee you that others FEEL it deeply and most do not care for it....and may avoid it....
So we must try not to SUCK the life out of the people in our lives... Remember  they may NOT be able to deal with our emotional intensity.....
And remember that everything is NOT about US....
I recall a friend who was having yet another man crisis....in the space of 5 minutes she had emailed me twice, called me on my home and cell phone and texted me.......because she was having yet another MAN crisis...... and at that point I was unable to deal with her at that moment as I had other things going on in my own life that had to take priority over her latest crisis....imagine the cheek of me NOT responding to her in HER time frame? How DARE I ??
But I have a family that needs to take priority so I take that time when necessary.....it keeps me grounded and makes me a better reader and friend.....
.I did give her hours of my time when I could and yet it was not appreciated and I realized that the friendship was not reciprocal and needed to back away from it....One does not give to receive or should not...but having the life sucked out of you by a needy friend can only go on so long..... :-)
Needless to say she did not appreciate that at the time and was completely unavailable when I needed an ear.... However I knew that this was only the latest in the bad choices one can make and I am sure there are many more, I simply choose NOT to participate in drama any more....and that might still suck....but not for me anymore :-)
Joan

Published Wednesday, March 11, 2009 7:01 AM by DruidsGlenTarot

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# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Thursday, March 12, 2009 2:40 PM

I love this blog. i had to weed out a few friends because i was not at their beck and call. Also, I do not read for friends because it is draining to me.

justaskdrdonna

# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:17 PM

It's like the hairdresser, others ask for opinion from them. When people know you read they want to suck you dry for readings, I no longer read for *friends* it does not serve me and it is how I make my living so I do not get my hair cut for free, I will not read for free...
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:24 PM

I remind people that giving readings is what I do for a living. I pay when I receive a reading also. Free readings are less precise and long winded.

justaskdrdonna

# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Thursday, March 12, 2009 4:51 PM

I, personally have given plenty of precise free readings and do not differentiate between free and paid for readings, however when a friendship pushes boundaries one has to learn to not respond to the vacuum of need that others turn on once in a while. Not to mention being careful of becoming that vacuum of need to others, and at times it's a fine line.
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Thursday, March 12, 2009 5:13 PM

i am sure that i was precise but my friends were long winded. paying put a value on the reading for the person receiving it.

justaskdrdonna

# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Thursday, March 12, 2009 5:25 PM

It is not necessarily only the monetary amount that places the value on any reading, the accuracy, the willingness of the person to receive what comes up also counts. Paying by the minute makes it less likely to be long winded by either person.
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Friday, March 13, 2009 10:27 PM

Your energy is a resource, you chose to use it wisely. Energy is to be exchanged, not taken, zapped, or demanded. Great blog.

Angels Touch

# re: The Vacuum of Need............ @ Saturday, March 14, 2009 10:04 AM

A great way to put it cosmic, thanks for the comments...
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

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