There are many differences
between men and women but one of the major differences is the communication styles of men and women.
Women listen to the words and men listen to the actions....
A woman when she is upset will threaten, cajole, yell, cry to get what she wants and the man who has stopped listening the moment the message gets too wordy or emotional. She wants to talk about the problem, and make sense of it... And YES it is confusing when the words and the actions do not match. And while we may be listening to the words and the words may be really what we WANT to hear but we need to look at the actions, and see if they match rather than reacting to the words....
A man wants to Solve the problem. he does not want to hear the depth of emotion, he does not want to see a woman upset and he will stop listening when there is too much said or there is a vacuum of neediness. And he will not listen to what is said he will watch what the woman does.
If she has threatened to finish with him and she is intimate with him too soon after the message she has sent is
I do not mean what I say, I do not say what I mean.... and the very basis of a relationship depends on a man taking a woman seriously when she speaks otherwise it can cause great difficulties and frustrations, not to mention communication problems....
Men also have the ability to compartmentalize their feelings, and women cannot do that as easily..
So say what you mean, mean what you say.....and Keep that in mind when communicating with your partner...
We cannot change others, we can only change how we are and they either change or they walk away and we cannot control that either.....
Joan
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