There is a big difference between...
being unhappy in a situation and actually doing something about it...
A person may be unhappy with his wife/husband and having an affair, but he/she may not be unhappy enough to leave her/him for you, and someone may love you, but may not love you enough to commit or be responsible or even be willing to invest enough to commit to a relationship. If only what we heard as kids was true, where is that love of our lives on the back of a white horse? Our Soulmate....
The Victim complains over and over but the song remains the same....the victim blames and takes no responsibility for any thing that occurs.
Life teaches us lessons. If we do not learn these lessons, they will keep being repeated. A winner learns from their experiences, and a victim refuses to learn, and keeps doing the same things and keeps getting the same outcomes and keeps complaining. The method of how the victim ceases to be one is unimportant, the fact that the change occurs is the important thing.
The journey between being a victim and a winner may indeed be a long and hard one. Such as not picking people who are either emotionally or physically available to us. And being honest with oneself and others is so important to begin with. Self honesty as to trying to figure out why a pattern re-occurs, self honesty as to your part or role in the situation and repeats of the situation are part and parcel of the process. It's usually the first step in the long process of the long hard transition from victim to victor in your own life.
Joan
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