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Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

This Blog IS..............NOT......

copied from anyone, not taken from anywhere. It was not printed and or written in this form or any other form anywhere else.  No Key Phrases or words (can single words and or key phrases BE the property of any one individual??????  ) were re-produced, and NO one else owns the copy-right...and IF it resembles anything else that was ever published anywhere else in the entire free world with or without citation (even HIGH SCHOOL kids and some Middle School children KNOW they have to cite their sources) it is merely a co-inky dink. Having posted my disclaimer I can proceed.

I often wonder if the way people behave these days is simply thoughtlessness or real pure selfishness? Have we become so self absorbed that we are mindless to the needs and desires of others? Mind you, I would be remiss in pointing out that at times I may have acted with thoughtlessness, towards another, even acted with selfishness and or self interest and not considered the feelings of others, however I am at a point in my life where I am more aware and am trying to become more sensitive to the power of my words and deeds. I do address that to the people when I re-consider afterwards how I acted....and if it was with integrity towards another. Sometimes I hold off making a choice or passing a comment until I consider IF those actions are in MY best interest only and if they have integrity. I have had many situations that I have CHOSEN to learn from lately whereby upon re-consideration of the people involved and the situation I have come to the conclusion that there was no great conspiracy, it was merely another human being thoughtless and inconsiderate, possibly even thinking of themselves rather than me as opposed to someone deliberately going out of their way to hurt me or my feelings. Oh shock and horror, it really is NOT all about me?? By the same token, you do come across people who ONLY operate on thinking of themselves thereby choosing their own wants, needs over ANYONE else in their path.....REGARDLESS of the consequences. Those who betray friendship for their own selfish reasons, and those who expect you to perform for them upon whim since you have an ability and use that so again those boundaries are soooooo important.

Those kinds of people are best cut loose, and boy is THAT satisfying....

As a parent I can use my power for good or evil :-) I have the power to choose, and I consider my words towards my children carefully KNOWING that what I do and say could have them in therapy for YEARS after that, if they are not kindly delivered when I have an issue with a grade and or behavior etc... and that is one of the major things that has me re-considering how my words and deeds affect my children. It is something I put to use in my readings...and when I make that choice in my own personal relationships and treat people with respect and kindness, it usually comes back to me, it is one of the reasons I consider myself blessed, I would like to expect that of others, but I have seen that it is not always the way, it will not change how or WHO I am... not now, not ever......

 

Joan

 

Published Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:29 AM by DruidsGlenTarot

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# re: This Blog IS..............NOT...... @ Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:32 AM

because if you treat others as you want to be treated it comes back to you

Ancestor of Light

# re: This Blog IS..............NOT...... @ Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:37 AM

It does indeed, and that does not mean that at times you will not disapointed in others
( your expectation of them at least) and it does not mean you should behave towards another based upon what you want back from them as we have no control over others, only how we choose to react to them...
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: This Blog IS..............NOT...... @ Tuesday, July 15, 2008 12:21 PM

Dear Joan:

This is really saying it all in a few paragraphs!  Examining motivation before proceeding is something that I do on a regular basis because the normal thing for me in the past when I was younger was to let fly right off the top of my head when something did not sit right with me.  Now I really do weigh the reason why I react and it has saved me from embarrassment a lot of times and from guilt.  I applaud you for putting a few things in perspective for us all.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: This Blog IS..............NOT...... @ Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5:39 PM

Examining your motivations is usually less costly in the long term rather than wreaking havoc in the lives of others in actions, words that will most likely come back at you in a negative way.
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: This Blog IS..............NOT...... @ Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:10 PM

As a good friend, sometimes I do things that is not at all in my best interest.  Is it common?....no....because I in the end I must answer to myself.  But every now and then I go above and beyond in the name of friendship and discard my own SELF and being from the equation of need.

I dig it when I do that!!

The Mathematician

# re: This Blog IS..............NOT...... @ Wednesday, July 16, 2008 4:21 AM

We ALL have to answer to oursevles, however what I have found is that only counts when one is honest with oneself and THAT I have found is not common at all. And what is less common is people who make no attempt to answer to others let alone themselves....it's just how it is these days :-)
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

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