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Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

To blog or not to blog.....

That IS the question....

I am really taken aback at some of the venom that has emerged on some of the blogs. Some of the labeling, the name calling the inability to see the opinion of another with respect ( perhaps I have been guilty of that ) And I am saddened at the fact that many of us have appeared to be intolerant and judgemental (again perhaps I have been guilty of that).

I see the victim mentality, the judging of others as being unfit to read because of personal choices that many readers have stated on their pages. The pages that state I will only read for repeat 5 star callers, No general questions, no timing, and the most controversial one, not wanting to read for people indulging in adulterous situations. Those are ALL the same in theory and are stipulations that a reader can impose on their conditions to do a reading.  We have that choice to run our business the way we see fit. These blogs seem to bring out the worst in some not to mention the best in some with some very educational blogs.....

All of this has made us appear childish, whiny, judgemental and attack prone on other human beings simply because they are behind a computer screen as if that might hurt less. This really needs to change as that kind of behavior in my humble opinion was not the purpose of the blogs, and will not in the long term serve us well. Neither from a business stand point, and or professional stand point and none of this will serve any of us well. There is room for all of us on here no matter what our personal opinions are and respect is what is sadly needed from all towards others.

p.s. this is my personal opinion of the toxic energy of some of the blogs lately, does not speak of anyone in particular and does not refer to anyone in particular and if it has cause offense, it was not intended..... Brings to mind a Carly Simon song..........I bet you think this blog is about you, don't you.........I am off to make some clouds in my coffee... no pun intended.........

Joan

Published Monday, June 16, 2008 10:41 AM by DruidsGlenTarot

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Comments

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 8:37 AM

Joan,

Great blog and timely topic!! I don't think there is any offense to be taken from your blog.  But I will speak only for myself....no offense taken here!

I agree that we all have the right to our judgments.  OK.  You did not say it that way, it's how I say it.  ;-)   However, if someone put on their page "Will not read for Asian women" or "No blonde girls here" or "Gays are best served to get readings elsewhere"...well, they are open for public criticism for their public words.

Just as one has the right to judge, they have the right to be judged, too.  Its all fair in love and blog.

So to answer your question I say TO BLOG!!!

Hugs to you Joan!

The Mathematician

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 8:49 AM

Dear Joan:

You are a peach and I hope you never stop blogging for when you blog everyone listens.  Keeping doing your magic and we will keep reading it for you make perfect sense to me.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 8:59 AM

Joan and Rosie,

You have always been the voice of reason even when many make an arse out of themselves. Keep bloggin and being the light that needs to shine through density.


'

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 9:06 AM

I know, my favorite "making an arse" of oneself is when someone accidently outs their true identity on a blog and has to beg the blog owner to remove it!

That's comical!!

The Mathematician

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 9:19 AM

Not every blog will be liked by everyone. This is acceptable. I for one have posted blogs that others have found distasteful, and been a target of ridicule. It is upsetting to see some use blogs as a way to throw insults and attack others. It gets out of hand at times, and would appear a referee would need to step in. To stop blogging because some don’t appreciate your blogs, should not be a reason to stop anyone from blogging. One should blog because it is something they want to do.
This is merely my personal opinion. I do not wish to force my personal opinions on others.

Lexy Moon

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 10:38 AM

Math, there are many readers who have stipulations on what they do not read upon. In my humble your comment about Asian or gay thing is a little out there but I totally respect someone stating their boundaries on what is acceptable for them to read on. Some say will only accept 5 star repeat callers, no general readings, no timing etc... and blog that will not die about adultery however it might have been nicer had the people who disagreed said simply that not passed judgements on the readers abiltiy or qualifications to read simply because they do not agree with them. Enough said :-) My questioning whether to blog or not in the future was not about people not liking my blogs, it was more that a lot of negative energy is created by the nasty comments on some of these blogs...

joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 10:39 AM

Actually I personally have seen plenty of people make an arse of themselves and out their true colors and not have their comments removed...
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 10:43 AM

Let me also say that IF anyone does have an opinion to share, it would be best all round IF they used their own name instead of levelling personal attacks against anyone under different names...that's not nice in my humble..
joan  

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 10:46 AM

Joan,

As I've said, time and time again, I have no problem with a person knowing their limits.  I encourage it.  However, I believe that when one puts personal preferences out for public view, judgment follows suit.  We are all entitled to opinions.  Judgment is merely another form of opinion, and it is both positive and negative.  

I put my opinion out there, because I say TO BLOG is the answer.  With that, I accept the judgment that follows.

BTW - I've seen people make an arse of themself and have comments left up, too.  I choose to forgive the arse their blunder, but I still laugh at the obviousness of it all.
 

The Mathematician

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 10:57 AM

What's funnier to me is someone accusing another of what they are engaging in themselves and simply being oblivious to what they are doing and continuing in their judgements and or opinion being mostly negative in it's form and consistency. ...
Now THAT'S funny!!!! Not to mention obvious
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 10:57 AM

Dear Joan:

I personally do not use my legal name on Keen, or any other website that I have.  I think it is suicide to do so.  We were the victim of a horrific attack because I did that before.  We had a religious fanatic arrive at our house with her friends and they slaughtered my cats and hung them on the fence and accused me of being a witch.  I have those who have tried to tap into my accounts and influence those who know me.  I don't see anything wrong with not using your real name on these blogs or on Keen and personally I think it is darn smart considering the lunatics that act like they can crucify anyone who does not agree with them.  I am sorry if I am coming off defensive here but I think the damn rock throwing should cease.  Lets get back to doing what we do best and that is sharing our knowledge.  I have been smeared and talked about behind my back for making an innocent comment...God forbid what might happen if I really got nasty and let some know just how vicious they really are. I know personally why some people hide their identities to protect their families and their business.  

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:03 AM

I see where you are coming from on that point rosie. Differing in opinions can cause some to get a twist in their knickers indeedy...and it aint always purdy...having an opinion aint always an easy thing..
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:25 AM

Oh my God, Rosie!  That is horrible!  Making me reconsider my apppearance here on keen.  That just breaks my little Sag heart!  Seriously.  I would just 'flip out' Enough BS already, you know, in the world as it is.

A new pic in in order.  On the other issues, I got a little lost.  I believe if someone wishes to attept to remain anonymous that is their right.  Some of us may know, but that's not the issue, is it?  It's their right and I don't believe it is up for judgement.  I am certain this person knows we know but perhaps no 'others'.  Maybe there is a reason for this that we do not know- it's really none of our business.

Blessings

Ancestral Wisdom

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:26 AM

Dear Joan:

Like you I thought long and hard this morning about just backing away from the blogs but I decided why should I.  We have things to say and share and they may help others to survive in this crazy world we live in.  I hope you continue to add your brilliant commentary for it keeps us honest.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:28 AM

Joan I know you asked for names to be placed on your blog so here I AM. I had wanted to say so much so badly and yet my head hurts when I see so much chaos and throws my energy out of balance. This is the Prime example why I closed my account on keen. Keen when I first started as you remember I am sure, was about the clients and advisors joining together and working to establish a relationship. A solid one. Even the advisors had much stronger bonds with eachother. I do not recall many people fighting and arging and cat scratching as the last 2-3 years here. As everything in life changes and sometimes it may seem pretty grime on the surface and not pretty. Yet, what is taking place is a "shift" in consciousness. I wrote many blogs on how chaos sometimes happens to bring in new order. Not an easy concept to always grasp as we are human and tend to react immediately, rather than wait.We are quick to jump out and pounce.

Rosie, I have always said to you in your blogs that you are a true leader and have what it takes to bring order to out of control chaos. Heck, you brought it to me and my family. And you know I appreciated everything (hugs)

I think Joan your blogs have become so much deeper and richer from your heart I can feel it. That is why I found the blogs to be so benefical and a way to reach so many that need not just conversation but,to see that they are not alone in this ascension process this (shift)
I may not be a advisor anymore, but, I enjoy good solid heart conversations. Dr. Daragh is another person who has given so much here as well in which I have appreciated.

Thanks Joan for allowing me to share.

Much Love,
Donna



Donna

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:29 AM

To be[log], or not to be[log], that is the Question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous comments,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: or should we just sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heartaches, and the thousand Natural shocks
Flesh is here too 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be washed away in sleep

To sleep, perchance to Dream; I, there's the rub,
For in that sleep, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled from this blogg-as-phere
It must give us pause. Where's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who should bare the Whips and Scorns of others,
The Oppressors wrong, the poor mans controller,
The pangs of dispraised Love, the Laws delay,
The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Quiet make
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from where we are born
And which travelers do return, Tis the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Then fly at others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hew of Resolution
Is sick over the pale cast of mis-read Thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this regard their Comments turn away,
And loose the name of Action.

Trinity Connection

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:41 AM

Dear Donna:

People remain anonymous for many reasons and they are not all bad.  I have learned my lessons about being too open on the internet and about protecting my family.  I know your heart is in the right place and that you have been terribly maligned before also that is why I believe we need respect for others and their reasons for doing things.  We do not always know the reasons behind someones actions even as psychics but we should at least respect their right to do what they think is right for them.  I wish you would return to us Donna for you have so many things left inside you to share.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:53 AM

Rosie, you have made me see the anonymity issue from a different perspective.
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 11:53 AM

I think there is a difference between being anonymous because it is a right and masking one's self to attack from the corners.  

I refuse to take the burden of someone else's mistakes.  I opened my forum to free discussion and received anything but love from an advisor using a fake ID.  I felt *her* chaos, and respected her right to withdraw.

I do not support attacks from those unable to show their face.  If that person wished to trudge my name through their drama then so be it.  But keep *me* OUT of it.

I think it is a fair request.  


 

The Mathematician

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:03 PM

Dear Heather:

Under those circumstances I think your request is totally valid.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:14 PM

Rosie I appreciate you and your wisdom. You have always brought to me an understanding that is sometimes hard for me to see and I can be thick sometimes to reach (lol)

Keen can restore my account if I ever decide to walk this road again, they reassured me (lol) I want to expand into new horizons and inorder to do so, I have to leave some extra room and if my heart pulls in helping this way all the time, I will never know what lies ahead. Just a spirit calling thing right now.

You know that pull out from awhile thing. It does us good sometimes to retract.
I have no energy for drama and the illusions it brings to me. Sometimes people do not even know they are in it until it is to late..My energy is focused on me and my souls purpose to move into my next feature (lol)
Hugs,
Donna

Donna

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:15 PM

And while I do not support attacks from  people who do not name themsevles, or hide behind fake names, I do not support attacks from people who do use their real names and accuse others of doing exactly what they are doing themselves...It's funny to watch someone making accusations against others when they are guilty of same...
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:18 PM

We can all be thick sometimes, some of us are better at it than others... and at times it is hard for us to see the part we may play in the situations we become involved with.
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:28 PM

I suppose Joan, that is very true.  And a real friend would take you aside and say, "You're being a little to dramatic today, dear."  And not let a friend talk himself/herself into a wolves den.  Wait, do wolves live in dens?  Scratch that....Lion's Den.  

A true friend would also not limit the details they give their own friends, so they can paint themself as a victim.  This is manipulating friendship and it is unfair to those who trust.

Ah, at the end of the day We all grow through these things.  And unless we decide otherwise, we can find friendship with people who previously were stangers.  We control our lives.

I think Joan, for instance, is a smart cookie and has a good heart.  I think TC might BE Shakespear in drag.  I think Rosie not only lives in the mountains but quite possible can move them.

The Mathematician

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:30 PM

You know I don't want to hog your blog here Joan so I will make this my last comment I promise...hehe I hope I mean!  I love the blogs and I am going to continue to support those who blog totally.  I am going to add my comments to blogs I think worthwhile and I am going to do my damnest to avoid those that make me cringe inside for I see the malice behind them.  I will make an honest try at posting things that others will benefit from and if some people think every blog I write is about them then they are delusional and must have either a terrific imagination or a grand ego!  

I hope that everyone takes heed today for your blog makes some salient points we all need to see and reflect upon.  Thank you for letting us have a safe haven to express our views Joan.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:46 PM

Heather,
I do not share the view that saying what you believe is being dramatic. And in fairness 2.99 a minute isn't dear at all :-)  Nor do I share the view that I am talking myself into a wolves den, only expressing that I did not care for the attacks made anonymously whether I agree with the person they were made against or not. I opened my blog up to any and all comments and I do not label anyones comments as being dramatic as I opened my own blog up to my own commentary on the comments made :-)  I do not judge the comments and I can and will disgaree respectfully without sarcasm and or condesencion. I am also not portraying myself as a *victim* of anything on or off keen and for that I am glad. And as for the reference to the *true friend* I for one am very careful who I am *friends* with on keen. I do not get involved in ganging up on others, I am a posse-less reader, I think on my own and act on my own even when others try to involve me, I stay away. And me thinks you thinks too much :-)
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:56 PM

Dear Joan....I did not mean *you* were talking yourself into a wolf's/lion's den.  I mean that people do.  All over the place.  I've done it.  

I was not taking YOU aside and saying "Joan, you're being a little dramatic today."  I was simply saying that a good friend would.  I've said it to friends, and have been told by friends.  Nice checks and balances.

I do not differential between friends and true friends....others do that for me.  :-)  I leave doors open until they are closed or walked through.  

Oh look.  My mom is calling me....

The Mathematician

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 12:59 PM

OK.  You modified you post so my mom has to wait a sec...

I do not see you as a victim at all.  I just watch people do it all the time.

Sorry for putting that on your blog, in fairness, it would then indicate I was speaking in reference to you.  Not really the case.  Just following a thread of chat.

The Mathematician

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 1:11 PM

I realized that I had left words out of the 2.99 a min sentence and felt I needed to express myself a little clearer. And yes your comment did appear to be addressing me and it looked to me as if you were saying I was being dramatic, I was a victim and yes it did look as if it was in reference to me..hence my addressing it to you...in my response....
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 1:37 PM

And sometimes you just have to laugh at the blantant obviousness of it all....
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 9:27 PM

If we decide not to Blog for fear of the negativity of others, that just leaves the lunatics running the asylum. Blog on I say!
:))
Faith

Faith New Zealand

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Monday, June 16, 2008 9:36 PM

Who flew over the cukoo's nest? "-)

The Mind Shift

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Tuesday, June 17, 2008 4:43 AM

We do have choices, we can delete comments but that in my mind is censoring and I for one am not a fan of censorship on any level, I may not agree with what you say but I would fight for your right to say it.
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Wednesday, June 18, 2008 12:30 PM

Just a word about anonymity. There are a host of reasons an adviser may not want to use his/her real name. First, we have businesses, and your real name might not be mediagenic. I don't think Jack Benny would have done better as Benny Kubelski or Cary Grant would have done better as Archibald Leech. My real last name is unusual and difficult to pronounce and remember. So I have used a nom de plum for years.

But we live in the information age, and in today's world, it is very easy to find people with just a name. In fact, I have helped callers locate long lost individuals. In a matter of minutes, it is quite possible to have a person's home address and related info. I know of advisers who have been threatened. I personally have not been. However, I have had clients camp out in front of my front door waiting for me, or come pounding on the door.

So I think it's a decision that has to be made based on your circumstances. Everyone has different circumstances and to some privacy might not be important; to others it is.

Jon Constantine

# re: To blog or not to blog..... @ Thursday, June 19, 2008 12:03 PM

To each their own in my humble, but disagreement can be handled in a kinder gentler manner....there is no place for the kind of rudness not to mention acrimonious remarks that we could all do without...there is no need to the ramming of opinions down the throats of others as is practiced by some of the need for the last word..... it just gets tedious. This is not directed at you jon and thank you for your comment I do agree about the choices we have to keep our names quiet if it is our preference....
Joan  

DruidsGlenTarot

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