Keen Home  | Blog Policies  | Help
Keen.com > Blogs > Boundaries
Welcome to Community Sign in | Join | Help

Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

To google or not to google............that is the Question.............

http://www.switched.com/2007/12/19/stalker-alert-53-percent-of-adults-google-others/?ncid=NWS00010000000001

 

I just read this article and it speaks volumes to me regarding this society. We have no issues with violating the privacy of another and the majority of people think that is acceptable.......

Have we no pride that we have to snoop about everyone these days? have we come to the point that we have to attempt to control every relationship we have and to do so we must research every person we are involved with ? 

I know of a woman, that I introduced to a male friend of mine and they continue to date, she works in a position where it would be possible for her to have access to personal information abotu him that would not be possible for most people to have or access unless they contacted a private eye and she informed me that she had done some research on him and looked up his financial information on line, I was horrified and debated as to whether I should tell him, I chose not to as it is not my place to make trouble between a couple but felt that he should know. I am sure he will find out eventually, the truth ALWAYS comes out, no matter how hard we try to keep it hidden. But I felt it was not my place to be the one to inform him even though he would be horrified at the invasion of privacy as he is a private man, when the  time is right for him to know, he WILL find out but never from me.

It is a sad state of affairs that we have come to this kind of behavior and apparently the percentage of adults engaging in such on line research belies the fact that this is not really acceptable. While I know that we have to be careful who we become involved with, and accept that people may misrepresent themselves on line, there are and should be boundaries on such things. While 53% said they engage in such things, I suspect the numbers may be higher........

Joan

 

Published Wednesday, December 19, 2007 1:27 PM by DruidsGlenTarot

Comment Notification

Subscribe to this post's comments using RSS

Comments

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Wednesday, December 19, 2007 11:20 AM

Dear Joan:

With the advent of the internet our our society has changed drastically.  People meet online, conduct relationships etc.  I have in the past recommended that many of my female clients do a background search to find out exactly who they are dealing with prior to even meeting them in person.  I have a file of "horror" stories about people who represent themselves as being "forthright and honest" and it turns out they are in fact ex offenders with a history of abuse.  I know that we do lose our privacy in many ways and unfortunately even the health industry and credit corporations keeps files on all of us but to not be cautious anymore is really taking a risk.  I have counseled my daughters to be extremely careful even with the casual friends they meet because people are not honest about who they are.  Trust is a risk and I think you can trust but verify.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Wednesday, December 19, 2007 11:27 AM

Rosie, I agree in many ways that we have to be careful particular when it comes to on line meetings and I did say that in my blog, I just feel that society may just be taking this all a bit too far and that is my concern.
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Wednesday, December 19, 2007 11:52 AM

Dear Joan:

I guess because I am from a law enforcement "side of the fence" when it comes to safety for women I just get a little paranoid and I do agree with you in some instances that we definitely are going to far with the information that government and corporations collect about us.  I get upset because some places now are paying others to investigate how we shop and what we purchase etc. That makes me want to stop using credit cards, shopping online etc.  I think that privacy laws have to be revamped but by darn Joan I don't even have a clue where to begin.  I do advise women of all ages to be cautious and check backgrounds especially when it comes to dating because I know some women do not want to be involved with someone who is heavily in debt also because the credit rating they work hard to establish will be ruined also.  So it is a double edged sword and not an easy issue to debate.  You always give us good info to debate and I thank you Joan!  Blessings

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Wednesday, December 19, 2007 12:19 PM

Coming from a law enforcement background myself ( my father was a garda siochana member for 30 years) in one of the only countries that police men remain unarmed, Ireland ( that might change soon) I was also brought up to be cautious, but people these days are of two schools they either trust too much or too little, there is a happy medium but it seems that is harder to come by for some people these days
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Wednesday, December 19, 2007 5:23 PM

Joan,
I have to stick with you on this.
I do not think living like a secret agent is a way to live in our society.
Yes, cautious is one thing but investigating is another.
Now,  I get to reveal a bit of myself here, I was a agent and I do know the ins and outs.
I know what we can do and how to go to far as well. If you get what I mean.
If you buy into fear, you live that way,  and you set yourself and those you advise up to bring it in as well.
I will not allow my thoughts and energy be directed by mass hysteria and crazy chaos.
I will not buy into that way of thinking or living, nor encourage anyone else too.
There are fine lines, and you can be aware and alert, without delving to deep.
How do things change if we just get in the boat with those that feel they are drowning.
I will not! I would recommend for people to think long and deep about what we are truly afraid? Do not sway to sides of the fence.
Thanks Joan you know me had to jump in here:)

GIFTED11

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Wednesday, December 19, 2007 5:58 PM

Dear friends:

I just have to reply here for you know I just cannot stay away from a good debate!  Case in point...young mother with 9 year old son meets man online with a good business, has the money to help her out when she needs it and comes for visits across the state twice a month with gifts for her son. After time goes by he asked to take the son camping and she agree thinking some bonding was necessary.  Boy was molested and is now in treatment.  Man had a history of pedophilia and if she had just investigated his background she would have found out.  I agree about not living in fear but I sure will not throw caution to the wind and not keep my kids safe.

Blessings to you Joan and Donna you are both so  gifted and insightful.  I wish that sometimes I had the faith to not be cautious.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Wednesday, December 19, 2007 6:34 PM

I am no way trying to be disrespectful to anyones feelings here.
So please keep in mind,  we each see and feel things differently from time to time.
I just cannot buy into this craziness, What did we do before there is Internet?
Did every person have to be investigated and interrogated? Did everything have to be so complicated? When do people just live free? effortless without extra dumpings?
Rosie, in all due respect, and I mean that:) I could say a lot about that senerial, in which, I would be buying into a state of mind and a polarity that would not serve me or anyone else by doing so.
I think if we want change we have to hold true to what is truth and not buy into fear.
I am not a strong solid rock person 24/7, that does not crumble and cave in,  but, What I have been learning by my guidance is to not sway, to stay strong in conviction. Not to spread fear and use words that will spread like wild fire.
This may make sense to some,  but, probably not to everyone. thats okay too:)
I could say this, what if all souls that come here have a role to play and do so, does that make situations that occur wrong? This is at a soul level that these positions were all agreed upon. When do we let go of viewing things at an eye level? and Come to higher understandings? looking for clarity, perhaps?
I know there are so many universal laws and they carry so many positions when looked upon each and every way. That sometimes can be really confusing and very detailed.
okay maybe I am a lost ship out at Sea:)



GIFTED11

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Thursday, December 20, 2007 4:04 AM

As a mother of two children I have been and continue to be cautious regarding whom I allow access to my children. I would never in a million years allow my son or daughter to spend a weekend alone with ANYONE if I was not present no matter HOW long I knew them. I would never accept money from ANYONE or allow ANYONE to *help me out* unless I was in a commited longterm relationship with that person. I never was and have never been in any hurry to meet or establish a relationship with anyone so that I was rushing into anything and have dated people for months and they never met my children. I believe that one should be cautious when meeting people and they should prove themselves to me over a long period of time consistently, but the google thing makes me nervous and smacks of stalker type behavior, so there is a fine line, and I have not quite decided where to case my own line yet.

Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: To google or not to google............that is the Question............. @ Thursday, December 20, 2007 7:42 AM

Okay,  I had some time to sleep on this one. This bugged me a bit,I needed to ask for more guidance.
Along with universal energy our own energy has a role, and like any other direction we get to pick left or right to proceed further.

I have a hard time stepping out of my higher guidance shoes to look at things these days from a human eye level space.
Just where I am in my process that is all.
My kids, I make choices that serve them to their best interest.
No lover, friend, or family member would go unnoticed from me.
I guess as a natural empath and intuitive I have always been fine tuned to peoples identity.
Anybody can do that, if you have your antennas and internal radar on you, will be able to pick up on just about any body's intentions.

We make choices as to how far and how fast we would allow someone into our childrens world unsupervised.
I have never and would never cross these bridges without being for certain after a long period of time. Long period of time!!
Many lessons are to be learned, many choices are made, many karmas are made and released.
Like , I said many dynamics to situations and everyone is different.
Sometimes hard lessons cause us the hardest pain, and are felt very deeply, yet, they are the ones that will shape our experiences here as humans.
I myself have made choices to go left, when right would of better easier and lighter.
At the time, I felt left was what I wanted to go with,  and was blinded by my own wants and desires, instead of allowing my intuition to steer me.
okay I am done, Thank you for your blog!
Good food for my soul:)

GIFTED11

What do you think?

(required) 
(required) 
(required) 
Enter the numbers you see into the
field below. (required)