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Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is...
The fact that the power  and weight of words is  and continues to be amazing, they can be used to heal or to divide, hurt or give comfort. They can teach,  inspire, and change lives. What they should not be is manipulated.
My father raised me to not commit to paper words I might later regret.  I try in my personal and professional life to adhere to that standard. What I have noticed in this day and age, is people are quick to fire off an email and or text in the heat of the moment full of the instant emotion they experience causing regret to later seep into their consciousness. The damage sometimes cannot be undone.
What causes me great concern is that on these keen blogs, and feedback is that ones words can and sometimes are taken the wrong way. Words written can come across as not being what one was intending when the feedback, or blog comment or even blog was written.
By all means keep the ability to delete comments, ( and feedback when applicable within keen rules) but REMOVE please the ability to CHANGE and MANIPULATE words that will be taken as written by someone else when YOU the BLOG owner may have changed them YOURSELF.
IF you are leaving feedback as is your right and the interaction did not go as planned and you are not happy with the reading, try to remember that you can say what you believe about the interaction, but it might be better IF it was said in a manner that gets across what you need to say that is not mean spirited, as that may affect the perception of you as a person, the Advisor as a reader and not the reading itself. Keep it from being or getting personal, getting personal takes away from the message, try to keep it on topic and know that not all readers can or will connect with you. Readers should try not to take it personally, as most of the time, it's not about you, it's about the person themselves.....
 That is a situation that could create a BIG problem for the person who made the comments and that person may not in fact be responsible for the words that are attributed to them. Words have consequences, I have no problem standing by the words I say or write but ONLY if I have in fact written them.....And only if they are understood in the manner in which they are meant...

Joan

Published Thursday, May 07, 2009 6:55 PM by DruidsGlenTarot

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# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Tuesday, May 05, 2009 2:56 PM

Very Well Put! Thank you for sharing this with all of us!!!!!
I agree as many even (yes us advisors) can type away before we think because we may have had our feelings hurt by a person not appreciating our reading.
I think maybe we all should take a deep breathe before giving or receiving a reading that way everyone is more relaxed and can it flows then. that way if the client is upset when they called it might help them accept a readign & with us advisors it may help us remember that we are all human & we all need answers at times so to try more to say ok let me put myself in that persons shoes. I think that should go both ways!
So again I am so glad you shared this with us. I myself as stated tryt o always take a breathe before each call just in case a person has had a bad day or is maybe struggling in another way. as we all have taken out our bad days on a person, then felt bad afterwards. so let's all try to be kinder to eachother. :o)

Blessings
Crystal Clarity

Crystal Clarity

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Tuesday, May 05, 2009 3:09 PM

Yes, we are all human, and I so agree with trying to put ourselves in the shoes of others. Each caller is human, each caller may have their own pain. It is not about us as readers, it is about the service we are here to provide. I would hope that all callers are open to hearing what comes up, and I try to deliver it in a manner that is kind. Callers want the truth, even if that hurts them, and readings can go downhill pretty fast but there is no need for anger and for the reader to take personally the feedback that is left as most of the time it is not only about the advisor, it says a lot about the person leaving it also. A little kindness from both sides might go a long way...
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Wednesday, May 06, 2009 3:45 PM

Ah! "it is not about us as readers, it is about the service we are here to provide." ~Thank you for that. Also, yes, the pen is still mightier than the sword, or maybe I should say the keyboard! Our social skills have not caught up with our technology. I have seen what are usually completely rational adults react with the keyboard too quickly, full of emotion, not thinking about the consequences of their typed words. Some, too regrattably get blocked by a very good reader, or show too much of themsleves on a social site. Thank you for this post, Joan.

Madea-Michelle

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Thursday, May 07, 2009 8:41 AM

Having been the victim of such abuse of the keyboard (texts, emails and messages) and ( not necessarily on keen) I know that the words written cannot always be taken back, therein lies the problem. And negative feedback does not only reflect on the ADVISOR but it makes the caller look bad when it goes for the jugular... you can say what you want about the interaction.....however making it PERSONAL only makes the caller look bad... Both sides, need to remember that when leaving feedback and try as an advisor not to take it personally as most of the time it is not about us...
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Thursday, May 07, 2009 3:34 PM

GREAT ADVICE,
I feel it is a perfect post for callers to read in order to know how to better handle their dissappointments in the issue I BLOGGED ABOUT IN the "USELESS EMPLOYER AWARD" Posted by me 1 week ago. I was impressed by the response, and this advice here compliments that post gretlya !
THANK YOU
XO

PSYCHIC SILVANA FILLMORE

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Thursday, May 07, 2009 3:49 PM

I love my job, I am so blessed to have it, I love reading for people and love it when they email me back to say that my readings have had a positive influence. I also care greatly and know the damage that false hope can give. People react so much more quickly these days to PERCEIVED hurts that may not necessarily be about them so much as the person who supposedly inflicted the hurt...taking a step back can and usually does help sort that as well as time and empathy :-)
joan
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Friday, May 08, 2009 7:50 AM

As always your posts are right on target Joan.  Excellent blog.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Friday, May 08, 2009 8:43 AM

I feel I needed to address the issue of the reactive words that cannot be taken back at times, the hurtful ones that are designed to hurt or show our hurt but we can and most likely need to say what we feel but where is the harm in those words IF we vent without sending? Write it down, read it into a mirror and let it go...it works like a charm and NO one gets hurt...even better :-)
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Friday, May 08, 2009 11:19 AM

That is a great idead, Joan. Reminds me of the sage advice of releasing your pent up emotions by writting  a letter to someone and burning it.

Madea-Michelle

# re: What is disturbing to me about Words, Feedback and Blog Comments is... @ Friday, May 08, 2009 12:47 PM

I have found that is a great way to get what you need to say without doing the damage that can be caused by hurt feelings...like the john mayer song says.... *SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY* those are wise words indeed....
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

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