What we woulda, shoulda, coulda done .....
It is never wise to give someone the power to make YOUR life better simply by them contacting you after a bad break up or ending of a relationship or friendship. And I learned this the hard way, so if a reader is willing over weeks, months and years to do the timing that seems to not happen time after time maybe you need to think about the fact that it might be YOU delaying this by being so focused up on that phone call, text etc....or being willing to fix the issues each time ( you have trained them WRONG) or being willing to accept the crumbs that the person is giving you. Or even delaying it futher or even preventing it by incessantly calling, texting the object of your affection....that can and may ruin the chances. So go on a strict no contact diet with the person. Take their name out of your cell phone, off your buddy list, and do not call, email, text, twitter or facebook contact them.....
Now that being said, IF the call comes and there is more back and forth and still nothing moves or changes ( as I always say the danger time in a situation is NEVER when they are away from us, it is when they try to come back) so is it the same stuff on offer? Renegotiating the contract is most important thing we can do for ourselves when the person or friend tries to come back into our lives.... SO you should be aware that unless the talking occurs before the physical part or the calls come and nothing changes, as sometimes a phone call, text, instant message, emails is only a toe in the water and nothing changes at all.... but we are the only ones that have the power to change things, remember that as giving all of our power to another is never a good thing to do.....
And after a reasonable amount of time of not being contacted it may be best to consider trying to move past this waiting for that phone call, email, text, twitter, facebook update ( so many ways to be keeping up with these days) Forget about the timing, forget about doing it the same way and be BRAVE enough to ACCEPT it may not happen in any one of the time frames that may have been wrong. But are you contributing to this negative pattern by virtue of the fact that you keep calling and hanging onto that timing? So change it up, and start asking what has to happen before this could happen? Do I need to be accepting that it may not happen BEFORE it could happen ? Being willing to look at situations from a different perspective and having a reader who will work with you is also important instead of the reassurances that the prediction is coming, coming, coming and two years have passed and NADA? You are ALSO responsible for allowing that to happen.
Yes, I KNOW it is hard to let go, but we must try to understand why we may be holding onto something we do not have? Because we are afraid of losing something we do not have ? SO we hang on PIT BULL Style??? And we have to be honest with ourselves.....what do we really want here? To control and posses? DO we only want them because they appear not to want us? ( we usually are attracted more to things or people we think we cannot have or are harder to get)
Love sure is not easy, but why make it harder on ourselves by hanging on to what coulda, shoulda, or woulda been if that phone call we obsessed about came? Get out and LIVE with or without that lover or friend because All we get is TODAY, that is why it is called the present......
Joan
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