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Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

When you........
cross the line from being grateful to expecting and demanding things from another person and the exchange becomes uneven it is best to pull back. I find that lately people appear to expect things from you that they are simply unwilling to do for you or others.
 And when you draw the line they become resentful and ungrateful as eaten bread is soon forgotten. It has become a me me society, a victim society, whereby the focus is on ME, let's talk about ME, let's talk about ME some more.  Look at what HE/SHE did to me? Look at what HE/SHE said to me, and they remain blissfully unaware of their own part in the causation of this exchange. Nothing occurs where it is 100% the fault of one or another, there has been an exchange that escalated to what now may be, but what now may be is not what will be or what could be.
And it is not what someone DOES to you that matters it is how YOU choose to react, as IF the same thing occured from a person whom you had no feelings for would NOT cause the same emotional reaction from you, it is YOUR feelings for that person that causes their words, actions, lack of words or actions to hurt you... YOU chose  that response to the perceived slight....
When you tell someone something and they not only do not validate it, but they one up your story, as in they are sicker, they are in a worse situation it can become quite draining especially when it is continuous. It is up to us to do the right thing by our friends/lovers but for the right reason, because when we do the right thing for the wrong reason, it ceases to be the right thing....
Joan

Published Wednesday, June 10, 2009 8:25 AM by DruidsGlenTarot

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# re: When you........ @ Wednesday, June 10, 2009 9:29 AM

Dear Joan:

Your blog really had an impact on me this morning for I have a couple of clients lately, although they are wonderful people, have adopted and accepted the victim role and no matter how much we discuss ways to overcome this pattern they fall right back into the next minute.  It truly does fall to the individual to take charge of the direction of their life is taking. One way to do that is to accept the responsibility that you are the only one that can alter or change your life patterns. Others can give you advice, help direct the course you are taking etc. but ultimately it is you who have to responsibly put your feet on the path that will lead you to fulfillment and happiness.  You are the director of the scene as you so aptly reminded us on one of your other blogs.  

This is a great blog and one we all should ponder about.

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: When you........ @ Wednesday, June 10, 2009 9:42 AM

I know it's easily said that it is not what someone does to us that matters, it is how we choose to react that counts....and when we can separate ourselves from the emotion of the situation is when we can understand that concept. I was a pretty good victim myself for a while, darn good at it I was ....!!! Stepping back can only occur when we are in acceptance of what IS as opposed to what we want ...
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

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