You sometimes need to re-visit a....
situation to see it from a different perspective.....
I had occasion to re-read some emails before I deleted them to see if I wanted to keep them or delete them for good and now that I have re-read what looks like it was written in anger, boy oh boy are some people MEAN when they need to lash out when THEY are MISERABLE.....
I was SHOCKED at the emails that were sent to me..... and how mean spirited they were, and they caused me to think, did I really see the situation so differently? Had I actually experienced that same situation as the person was describing as this was NOT the way I had seen it, and it certainly was not the way I had experienced it. And I would not allow the version of another be the one that I have, and I will not allow someone to make me think differently from what I personally experienced.
I cannot change anyone, but I can change the way I deal with them and I stand firm in my beliefs of what transpired. I may not know what another is experiencing, but no one can make you experience their lesson. I know that my own personal experience of what transpired with them. And while my version of events may not be theirs, theirs is certainly not mine....and my seeing it from a different perspective may not agree with the version of another or mean there is blame being assigned.
What I could not figure out was Did I do anything to deserve that kind of negativity and mean spirited words from someone I would have considered a friend and upon reconsideration I did not believe that I had. So, I feel the best way to deal it, is to bless that person, wish them love and move on and realize that what transpired had more to do with that person, their lessons and their issues rather than mine. We cannot do their homework for them, we cannot make their lessons go easier nor can we allow the energy of another to DRAG on you so much so that they become a VACUUM of need. Sometimes people are simply DRAINING to be around or listen to for hours daily, it is important to set your boundaries, and keep to them, most of the time the energy drainers do not like when you do that....you will not be able to change them, but you can change how you deal with them.
And moving ahead I decided that I will not allow anyone to project their stuff onto me as if it was somehow mine when I had done all I could to be there for the person who was having issues, and yet that very person was unavailable when I needed an ear. We also need to protect ourselves from what can be draining energy of another, and sometimes we can allow that to happen before we become aware of it.
And we need to know that when others have problems they are dealing with in their lives, their reactions are not always about us, so much as it is about them and their need to work through their own emotions while projecting their anger and frustration onto you.....
So clean up that email box and DELETE that negativity from your lives and try to only allow RECIPROCAL energy into your lives, and bless that person who caused the hurt in you and move right on and back to your friends who are there for you when you need them to be so that you can be there for them in the right way and not resent it, SO much more healthy for you .....
Joan
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