Ask A Witch: Everything To Everyone in Sydney, Australia
Dear Alexandra,
I have a large problem that isn't effecting my life in the best way. I'm quite empathic, you see, and it confuses me. I always feel very lost because with all these emotions that I have no control over I feel like a million different people at one time. It has caused me some problems and it causes me to hurt people unintentionally and give off the image that I am heartless. Sometimes I am. I had a friend over a few days ago. He is, of course, a very desperate person who constantly thinks about sex and such, and when he started to feel me up and such I did nothing to stop him. I don't even like him very much. The only thing I managed to say no to and stop was him reaching for my pants. I started getting into it as well, although I didn't really want to. I felt like someone else. Like I was him giving him what he wanted without resisting much so while I wasn't really to pleased I acted pleased and such. I'm just so confused and it hurts me in the end. I just want to be able to control who I am instead of being everyone else all the time. I was wondering if you could help me find me and be me! I've been lost in everyone else. I need to regain some control. Could you please help?
Everything To Everyone in Sydney, Australia
__________
Dear ETE,
That is a very serious problem! While you are in this vulnerable position, you need to take care to not put yourself in situations where you could be compromised, such as being alone with your friend. You may need to write him a letter, if you cannot confront him about your issues. I suggest seeking a local counselor in order to learn coping mechanisms, and find resources in your area for helping you increase your assertiveness, as well as identifying your own emotions in the mass of others. It can be impossible to shut out external influences if you can't identify what is your own. Controlling your empathy through meditation and grounding techniques is the next step, but only after you feel confident that you can take care of yourself in a worst case scenario.
Light!
Alexandra
16 Apr 2004
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