Ask A Witch: Kali in Albion, NY
Dear Alexandra
I am wanting to know why men always feel that they need to lie to me to spare my feelings, so that I wont get hurt. Do I have an invisible "handle with care" sign tattooed on my forehead? If so, how do I get rid of it?
Thanks,
Kali in Albion, NY
__________
Dear Kali,
This is a common problem for women whose boyfriends are afraid of arousing their anger! The first step that I'd suggest is one that you've probably already done. Tell him clearly that you always appreciate the truth. That a lie will simply add hurt to whatever negative thing that he needs to communicate to you. Examine your own reactions to things that he tells you. Are you quick to defend yourself? Do you make accusations? Think things through carefully before you say them and focus on how you feel and perceive the situation rather than telling him what he's doing. If you think it will help, you might want to write each other letters when you are angry. It gives you time to think and choose words, while eliminating the opportunity for a hurtful face-to-face quip.
Light!
Alexandra
17 Dec 2002
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