Ask A Witch: Sick Witch in New Haven, IN
Bright Blessings, Alexandra,
I am ill. I am 26 years old and have had Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was 9. After the birth of my son, I became sicker, and another disorder showed up. It is called Myasthenia Gravis. The first I dread due to the unrelenting pain, the second turns my muscles (all of them, from fingers and toes to lungs and heart) to 'jelly' with repetitive use. In other words, I am very capable of literally becoming a bump on a log; unable to sit or stand (I have fallen onto my head 17 times).
The good news is that the Myasthenia Gravis is controllable with meds; the bad news is it is a 'newly curable' disease. Up until the 1960's, people just died from it. These days they remove an organ above your heart, and the disease goes into remission in 1/3 of the patients (these illnesses are of my immune system - like cancer, my own white cells attack needed things in my body). Now we can survive, thank Goodness.
My question is this: Why on earth am I so ill? Is it by a random human imperfection, or am I being punished? The fact that I have a 4-year-old son makes me question this harder. I became pregnant on two types of birth control pills. Why was I allowed to reproduce? Will I ever get better? I practice magick and am seeking the advice of another witch.
Blessed Be,
Sick Witch in New Haven, IN
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Dear SW,
I'm sorry about your condition and, with your permission, I'd like to pray for your recovery. Many spiritual people struggle to seek meaning in suffering, and even though I am also a Witch, my own understanding of suffering may differ from yours. Though some may believe that your life is "punishment" for karmic wrongs, either collectively from a community to which you belong, or from a past life. However, I've decided that life is good, even when situations are bad, and I choose to work with my own suffering as a lesson to be lived. Perhaps you have learned lessons that an un-hindered person would never comprehend. Perhaps you have been given this challenge because another person would not have been able to handle it if it had been given to him. Of course you are suffering, and it is okay to know that "this sucks!" But it sounds like you also have a lot of blessings to contemplate as well. It is so much harder to appreciate them when you have them. Perhaps that is another reason why many of us do not.
Light!
Alexandra
05 Mar 2003
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