Would you like to read about the scary things I see in the yard?
I told my husband about the scary monsters that I hallucinate in the woods behind our back yard, and I prefaced it with "now, you're not going to think this is scary at all, but..." Now I feel validated, because he found my description spooky. Let's see if I can replicate the scariness in print.
It starts out not scary because they're deer. However, they stand up on their hind legs, and they're much taller than deer would be if they stood up on their hind legs. Their front legs are deformed into tight spiral wads. Their eyes are shocked wide, and their mouth tapers down to an "O" shape, as if they had a look of surprise. The scariest thing about them is the way that they move. They sort of... "goose step," by shooting one leg out straight in front of them, and then they lurch their weight forward. One leg in front of the other, in a perpetual, rhythmic pacing. Their feet are pointy and dangerous looking.
There are many of them, and they all walk about in the woods. But when I focus my eyes on any one of the monsters, that monster wheels abrubptly towards me, and begins their sickening lurching towards me with their wide eyes fixed upon me. If I look away from the creature, it resumes its death march elsewhere. But I must be careful that I do not simply shift my gaze to another threatening monster, or it will advance upon me as well. It's especilly scary in the mornings, when they seem more "hungry," and more likely to all begin coming towards me if my head turns in their direction of the yard. But they're there all the time.
If there was scary music, I just wouldn't go in the yard at all.
I'm hoping I'll get used to them. Maybe even get to like them if they have babies in the spring. I think some of them are growing antlers.