Namaste:

Several of my clients have issues with their children or their respective partner's children.  I came across this old newspaper clipping  (Ann Landers) I had saved, at least a decade ago and my mind's eye whispered to share this with all of you:

Dear Friends:   To you and the thousands of other parents who are miserable because of "what you have done" to your children.  I say this: Stop beating yourselves. You did the best you could with the tools at hand, inexperience, clay feet, the works.

No one knows why some children turn out to be champions in spite of parents who provided precious little emotional nourishment, while other kids - loved, wanted, tenderly nutured, with all the so called advantages - turn out hostile, irresponsible, unmotivated and unreachable.

I have come to believe in the genetic factor that has been ignored by many behavioral "experts." We all inherit our nervous system, and if the nervous system is fragile, it places severe limits on what a person can tolerate.

Certain individuals are born survivors.  They can withstand life's toughest blows and emerge the stronger for it.  Others crumble in the face of minor adversity.  The same fire that melts butter can make steel strong.

Let us not overlook personal responsibility.  I am sick of hearing children blame their parents for their messed up lives.  People with all sorts of  handicaps can and do make it in this demanding and competitive world.

Enough of this "You damaged me, now take care of me" nonsense.  It is a cop-out.  Parental guilt laid on by your kids is so thick you can cut it with a knife.  It serves no purpose, except to perpetuate financial and emotional dependence and creat a climate of insecurity and ultimate failure.  God helps those who help themselves.

In Love and Lite

Egyptian Priestess