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11 Ways to Flirt on the Sly

 

Matchmaking is a thing of the past, so if you hope to find that special someone, you have to know how to go about it.  Luckily, the art of flirting can be learned.

To initiate contact with a stranger you think you would like to know better:

1. Don’t come on with obvious lines or a standard act.  You’ll be seen as crude or a phony.
2. Don’t get too personal.  Make your conversational opener about something neutral, or you may be seen as pushy.
3. Do pick up on an innocuous topic and comment on it.  Good:  That’s a lovely ring you’re wearing.  Is it Art Deco?  Poor:  You have the most beautiful hair.
4. Do make eye contact – but not for too long.  According to a psychological study, three seconds is optimal to indicate interest without seeming to stare.
5. Don’t touch the person right away.  Women especially are very put off by men they consider “grabby.”  You might even move away to create allure.
6. Do show vulnerability.  People love it when you’re not Mr. or Ms. Self-Confidence.  If you’re nervous, say so.  Your candor will be appealing.  Also:  Your admission will allow the other person to admit that he or she is nervous, too.  This breaks the ice, and then you both can relax.
7. Do ask for help as a good conversation opener.  Example:  I don’t know this area well.  Could you recommend a good restaurant around here?
8. Don’t feel you have to be extraordinarily good-looking.  If you have confidence in yourself as a person, the rest will follow.  Whatever your type may be, it is certain to appeal to someone.
9. Do be flexible.  The same approach won’t work with everyone.  If you’re sensitive and alert, you can pick up verbal and nonverbal cues and respond appropriately.
10. Don’t oversell yourself or feel compelled to give all your credits.  Make the other person feel like the most important person in the world to you at that moment.  Being interested is just as important as being interest (if not more so).  Really listen.  Don’t just wait until the other person finishes a sentence so you can jump in with your own opinion.
11. Don’t let your confidence be shattered by a rejection.  It may not have anything to do with you.  You may have approached someone who is married, neurotic, recovering from a devastating love affair, in a bad mood, or averse to your eye colour.  The best remedy:  Try again as soon as possible.