Raising children is very demanding. The more effort we put in while they are young, the greater the likelihood of surviving the traumas of adolescence with family relationships intact. When I was younger, struggling to bring up small children as a solo parent, I got some very good parenting advice that helped me raise my children into productive adulthood.

 

My sister had a demanding business and 4 active children. She seemed to be managing her family very effectively, so I asked her to share her secret with me. This is what she said:

 

“When there’s a lot going on, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed with children’s behaviour. Both parent and child can feel angry and frustrated with each other. It can feel as though no progress is being made. I have learned to think about each child as an individual, and to isolate the ONE behaviour that is causing the most aggravation. Then I sit down with that child and we talk about how we are going to work with that ONE thing. That way, we both feel that we are making progress, and the relationship between us isn’t colored with negativity.

 

“Once that ONE issue has been successfully resolved, then we move on to the next thing on the list. No one child feels singled out. Each child gets attention. It’s a strategy that focuses on success.”

 

Armed with that information, I applied it to my own family and was amazed at the difference it made. It was the best bit of parenting advice I ever received. Children don’t come with instruction manuals, but if they did, I’m betting that my sister’s philosophy would be right there on Page One.