A recent Blog about Adultery has had me reflecting on my own experiences. When I was in my twenties my then husband had an affair. He left me dramatically and violently. All I had left were two very young babies and a mountain of debts that eventually cost me my home. I was incredibly bitter about it all and played the role of Victim to the hilt. He was The Villain and I was The Perfect Wife. I enacted my little drama to a sympathetic audience for a number of years.

 

Then something amazing happened. Rather belatedly, I grew up. Looking back I could see that there had been two of us present in that failing marriage. I had married too young, chosen badly and in haste, and was too immature and selfish to sustain a relationship. I was able to forgive him and myself for what we had done to each other.

 

Needless to say, I had avowed “never” to be the Other Woman in anyone else’s relationship. And needless to say, The Creator took note of that vow and put it to the test…

 

A few years later, when I was single and determined to remain that way, I met by chance a Very Nice Man in a café. I took his chair by mistake when he got up to go to the bar, and when he returned we got chatting as we laughed over the misunderstanding. I saw his wedding ring and thought he was “safe” to talk to.

 

As it turned out, he was not “safe”. He was in a floundering marriage to a wife some years younger than himself. Her heart’s desire was to have children, but he was sterile after contracting mumps in his late teens. She had committed a couple of indiscretions, one with his best friend, which he had forgiven her for, but neither was happy and he had even walked out on one occasion.

 

For the two of us, it was Love at First Sight. I was The Other Woman in his life. Before too long he left his wife and we have been together ever since. I am not trying to justify what happened, but the outcome has been a very happy one. Within weeks his wife met another man and they conceived a child together. Four unfulfilled individuals are now two happy couples, and another soul has entered the world.

 

I used to see the world in shades of black and white. Now I realize that there are many shades of gray. Gray can be a beautiful colour. I suspect it’s the colour that The Creator sees when looking at the imperfect creatures we call human beings …