If you’ve ever studied psychology you will know about pigeon programming experiments. The birds are placed in cages and trained to peck at bars for food rewards. Different strategies are tested to see what causes the birds to work hardest. What scientists have discovered is that if the birds get a reward every time they peck, they get lazy and their “work rate” drops off. Too long between rewards, and they get discouraged and stop working. What makes them work hardest is when rewards are unpredictable – when there is a variable interval between rewards, and sometimes the reward is bigger than at other times.

 

Think about the way that slot machines work at casinos. That’s exactly how they are programmed! Gamblers get intermittent rewards at unpredictable intervals, just enough so they go on playing. The size of the rewards also varies. No wonder gamblers are called “pigeons”!

 

The same principle applies in relationships. If someone always gets a predictable “reward” they can become complacent and take it for granted. If they get no reward, they get discouraged. It’s a great principle to apply to such things as phone calls, texts and emails. Don’t always reply immediately. Vary the interval between replies. Sometimes give a really “big” reply, sometimes make it brief. Keep ‘em on their toes!

 

If you want to keep your partner interested, don’t be predictable and end up unappreciated. Use the tried and true methods used to train pigeons and gamblers, and you’ll get great “rewards” yourself!