When you embark upon a path of personal and spiritual growth no one tells you that it will cost you friends. Whenever you start to change, it is inevitable that you will outgrow some of those around you. Some of your friends will feel threatened by what you are doing. Comfortable in their familiar ruts, they don’t want to be challenged to make changes themselves. They will choose to slip away. You will have little in common with some former friends any more. You will look at them and wonder what you saw in them. While some may be perfectly nice people, you will find yourself feeling bored in their company. You may feel guilty about it, but spending time with them is like eating fairy floss – it has no substance.

 

People are reluctant to let go of friendships that no longer serve them well. We are trained to hold on to relationships unquestioningly, sometimes well past their Use By Date. There is also the inevitable fear of loneliness. If I let these people go, will I find anyone to replace them? “Divorcing” former friends can be really challenging.

 

One way to look at it is like this. Look at your kitchen window shelf. If you are like most of us, chances are that quite a bit of clutter has accumulated on it. (Guilty!) If you want to make improvements, you need first to remove what is already there. Only then is there space for the items you really want to occupy it. You might have to wait a while to find “just the right thing” to replace what was there, but you will value it more for having waited.

 

If you are looking at your friendships and re evaluating them – good! If you are in that place where the old has gone but the new has yet to take its place – don’t despair. It is a necessary process, and will be worth the temporary discomfort of looking at that “empty window shelf”. There is no compelling reason to put all that old clutter back.