I was talking to a couple of the staff members at the gym the other day when a woman walked in. “Look, there’s Claire’s,” remarked one. “She must be between boyfriends again.” The other one grinned and agreed.

 

I glanced at the woman they were talking about but saw nothing remarkable. She was a thirty something woman with ratty hair that needed coloring, a lumpy middle and “thunder thighs” crammed into some scruffy looking shorts. So I asked what they meant.

 

“Well,” said the staff member. “Every few months she comes in here looking like that, then she really starts working on herself. She starts looking pretty terrific, and soon she gets a new boyfriend. We don’t see her again for quite a while, and then she’s back, and has to start all over again.”

 

It gave me something to mull over. How often do people go into relationships putting their best foot forward, and then relax and start letting a self show that is less than ideal? They stop making the best of themselves. They may let their appearance go, like Claire, or stop being polite and respectful towards the one they claim to love.

 

Women in particular are often guilty of treating men like Do It Yourself projects. From putting him on a pedestal, they start fault finding and correcting, while maintaining they are trying to “help.” And guess what? They soon find themselves on the market for a new boyfriend, just like Claire.

 

If you’ve been having a problem hanging on to relationships, then it’s time to ask yourself if this is your pattern. Do you present a false front, only making the effort when a relationship is new? Relationships are like exercise – a life long project, not a quick fix to get a partner. Just like exercise, the rewards are worth the sustained effort.